Save Me
by Dr. Eminem
Summary: Song is from Shinedown, song is Save me. Post Season 4. AUdrey finds Jack, but things do not go the way she expects. Jack thinks he has a chance at another life, but the government wants one more thing from him. Please Read and review.
1. Chapter 1

"_Are you ok?" _

"_No."_

Those last words she spoke to him repeated in her memory as she drove through the hot desert sun towards a possible lead. Sitting in the back a SUV as two secret service men drove through the Mexican desert in hopes of finding him. The memories coming back strong now that she had hopes of having a future with him, being able to be there for him. The government had finally cleared his name, and he would be able to come back to the United States. She had tried to talk his daughter into coming with her, but Kim still refused to have anything to do with her father.

_ "I already told him he was dead to me." Kim said sitting next to her boyfriend Berry._

_"Kim I understand you're anger, but you are directing it at the wrong person." Audrey tried. How could this girl not understand how hard it was for her father? How could she just turn her back on him? _

_"I am not angry." Kim said her voice holding a hint of anger, but she would refuse any anger she felt._

_"He didn't have a choice Kim. He had to protect you. He couldn't tell you he was alive, and if he hadn't of faked his death he'd either be dead, or dying in a Chinese prison is that what you wanted?"_

_"Maybe he would have been better off that way." Kim said Berry grabbing her hand giving her the strength to continue to deny that she wanted anything to do with her father. People were dead because of him. Her mother, Michelle, Tony, George Mason, Ryan Chappell, and Chase had left her because of him. If he had never died Chase would have stayed with her, too afraid to leave her. Chase, he was just like her father, and she could hurt them both now. She had the chance to inflict some pain on them. _

_"Kim you can't possibly believe that?" Audrey said seeing some of Jack in the girl as they spoke._

_"I do. Now if you don't mind I have to go to work. You can see yourself out. And please don't' come back again."_

_"here is my card." Audrey said extending her hand, "if you change you're mind you can call me. I'm going to find him and bring him back. I can't believe you would turn your back on him. After all he has done for you."_

_"All he has done for me?" Kim's voice was hysterical, "I have been kidnapped, lost my mother, my husband, and many other people I have loved because of him. All he has done for me, he didn't even fucking raise me. I raised myself after my mother died. Before my mother died he was never around. I am only returning the favor." Kim said tears in her eyes._

_Berry stepped in, "I think that's all for now Ms. Raines please leave."_

_"You know how to contact me." Audrey said leaving the room feeling the anger rush through her, the adrenaline rush she wanted to smack both of them. _

Sighing in the back seat she watched the world pass by. How would Jack be now? It was such a false thing to ask him, are you ok, but what else could she say. The anger she felt wasn't for Jack, no it was for his daughter. She understood more about who Jack was just from the encounters with his daughter. The way Jack took the guilt for everything that happened, and how it was so easy to place the blame on him because he'd take it. That was what she had done when Paul died. Jack would always take responsibility no matter how little he had to do with an incident, he would take the guilt on, and that made him easy to blame even when it wasn't his fault.

"How much longer?" Audrey asked feeling the urgency of finding Jack all of the sudden. A year after he had disappeared again, would he be the same as when he left? Would he even be the same Jack? She hoped for so much, to go back to the way they had been before her kidnapping, and the day that Jack lost everything for a second time.

"Not much longer ma'am." The driver said his hands tapping on the steering wheel to the music that played through the stereo.

_Rushing towards where Jack was she had to help him. The look of Tony's dead eyes still fresh in her memory as she ran down the armory where Jack and Henderson had been seen. If she had been thinking she would know that running to this situation to help would not have helped. Would she be able to stop Jack from killing the man? Would she be able to stop the man from killing Jack? She didn't know the situation but she ran towards the person she loved, the person she knew was in pain. _

_He had lost everything again. Kim's words record in his head playing over and over even as he cradled his dead friend in his arm. His last real friend, everyone else having turned from him after his addiction, and now he was gone. Tony dead, Michelle dead, Edgar dead, Palmer dead, Chappelle dead, Mason dead, and Teri dead all because he couldn't save them, all because he wasn't good enough. The guilt he carried bearing down on his shoulders every day he woke, every breath he took, the guilt seethed through him more than his own blood. But he would finish what Tony had started, the information was important but Henderson was never going to give it to him. Jack rushed in his anger blinding him, shutting his brain off, his instincts on hyper drive._

_Henderson waited he knew Jack would be coming for him soon. Gun in hand he waited patiently for him to come through the doors. When the doors flew open he was ready._

The car stopped suddenly bringing Audrey out of her thoughts. "Why are we stopping?"

"This is the place ma'am." The driver said opening the door.

Audrey looked around, it was a run down building, it looked like it was barely standing. Jack would never stay here, she thought as she climbed out surrounded by the secret service now.

"Ma'am maybe you should wait here until we find him. If he's here." The secret service man named Steve said softly. He knew this area was dangerous it was full of addicts looking for their next fix, and looking for the cash to afford their next fix.

"no I want to be there when you find him. But I don't think he's here." But she had to look just to be sure. Jack would never come to a place like this.

"Be careful watch for needles and broken glass, and stay between us." The man said giving her a warning of what they were going into.

Walking towards the front door the pungent smell of body odor, feces, and urine mixed together in the blistering heat made Audrey gag. She was sure there was no way Jack would ever be in a place like this. Covering her mouth she walked into the decrypted building, the floor was covered in dirt and trash with big spots missing in area's. She treaded lightly over the creaking floor boards, people where spread throughout the darkened building. All the windows had been covered by wood by now, and only cracks of sun light made their way through, not enough to light the room. The Secret Service men carried flashlights shinning them on the different people.

Each time the light shined on a new person they would mumble and some scream at the invading light. Most of the people seemed to be needing another fix.

Audrey broke free from the men and walked over to where a teenage Spanish girl sat. Pulling a picture of Jack out she asked, "Have you seen this man?"

The girl looked at the picture but didn't answer, "You got twenty?"

Audrey looked at her confused twenty what? Looking at the shaking form she figured out what the woman wanted, money for the next fix.

"Have you seen him?" She wasn't going to fuel this child's destruction.

"Twenty and I'll answer."

Audrey walked away finding another person getting the same demand. One look from the secret service men told her it was a bad idea to even think about paying for the information. These people were desperate for money that would get them what they wanted, and she was a means to that money if she started to pay. They wouldn't let them walk out of there alive without bleeding them dry of all money.

There was no way Jack would be here, but she couldn't leave without knowing for sure. "Let's keep looking." She said softly walking over garage and other mess on the floor.

She made it to a doorway that was splintered walking through it into a hallway that was covered in garage also she let the men lead shining the flash lights on the different faces in the hallway.

_Jack rushed into the room his anger blinding him. He felt the sharp pain as the gun crashed down against his neck. His body crashing to the ground he felt the hands on his back taking his gun away. Groaning he moved on the floor holding the back of his head where the gun crashed down, he was fighting off the dark spots in his vision._

"_I knew you would come." Henderson said pulling the man to his feet slamming him against the wall._

_Jack took the force of impact against the wall and felt the pressure of the other mans body on him, the gun pressing into his neck. _

"_I didn't want to have to do this Jack. I didn't want to hurt your friend. He was going to kill me."_

_Jack spoke his anger taking control of him, "He would never have killed you. You son of a bitch."_

"_You weren't there Jack. The needle in him he was going to jam into me." Henderson answered back, "I can't give you the information you want I'm sorry." Henderson moved back some giving Jack some room to breath. The gun still firm against Jack's neck._

"_I don't care about it anymore." Jack said keeping his hands raised, his fist balled up tightly. He wanted to kill Henderson, and he would once he found a way out of this situation. _

_Audrey rushed through the door hearing the conversation, Bill on her hills. They both stopped dead in their tracks when they saw Henderson with his gun pointed to Jack's head, his arm tightly around Jack's throat now, having grabbed Jack the minute the door opened. _

"_Close the door and get back here or he's dead." Henderson said knowing the more hostages he had the more time he would buy himself._

**I got a candle  
And I've got a spoon  
I live in a hallway with no doors  
And no rooms **

"Audrey." A voice called from the darkness. Audrey taken from her memory's shifted her attention to the voice. It was one of the secret service men.

"I don't think he's here." The man finished Audrey missing everything before that.

"I still want to check everyone to make sure. We had a reliable tip come in that he was here. A Mexican Police officer thought he saw a man fitting Jack's description here. I just need to be sure." Audrey said her voice pleading she knew at any moment if these men felt it was too dangerous they could pull her out and she would have now power to stop them. Her father had agreed to allow her to go on this trip only if the secret service were with her, and she agreed to their demands.

"Ok." The man understood why she had to look, even if it was a waste of time. The man they were looking for wouldn't be found unless he wanted to be found, and since he was running from two governments both of which had a fate in mind for him that was not appealing, he wouldn't be found. But they looked, because that was his orders, to find the man.

Walking through she continued her search looking through each of the wasted faces. None of them seemed human, despite the fact they were. Track marks covered each one of their bodies, some had to move on past their arms. Had Jack ever been this way? She knew she had been a drug addict, the word junkie she could never say regarding him. He was someone she knew, and people she knew weren't junkies, they had drug issues. But there was no difference, and she knew it, but for some reason the term drug issue settled easier with her than junkie.

She searched the face of a man, he looked nothing like Jack but she paused to look at him. His pain evident as he shook leaning against the hallway wall curled up.

"Lady can you give me some money. I'm sick and I need my medicine." T he man said a low mumble that was hard to hear, and fragmented when waves of pain rushed through his body.

She wondered what his dreams had been. Was his family worried about him? Did he even have a family? What led him to this point? Did he start with heroin or did he move his way up? Was he even addicted to heroin there were a number of drugs he had been addicted to. Would he survive through the night? It didn't look like he would his body so frail from lack of food, and withdrawal. Would anyone save him? Could he be saved? 

"I'm sorry." She said softly knowing that no matter what she thought this man was not here on his own accord, he may have let himself get this far down, but when one is falling do they really have the ability to stop themselves? This man had fallen off the building and he was falling slowly to the ground, with nothing to grab onto to stop himself before he landed on the cement that would kill him finally. There were not resources, those had been taken away when everyone got tough on drugs, even if he had been in the United States instead of Mexico. He had no chance, no hope, she reached in her pocket and pulled out a twenty, why she was helping him continue to fall she knew not.

**Under a windowsill  
They all were found  
A touch of concrete within the doorway  
Without a sound  
**

_Bill grabbed Audrey's arm gently and led her to the back off the room where Henderson indicated. _

_Henderson moved away from Jack but keeping his gun on him. Jack gasped for air, the arm that had been squeezing the life from him removed from his neck. _

"_Restrain him Jack." Henderson knew Bill was a threat, but he knew Audrey would do as she was told, she was a politician they wanted to live more than they wanted to save other peoples lives._

_Jack walked over to Bill looking for something to restrain him with. _

_Bill spoke, "handcuffs are on the shelf over there." _

_Jack walked over seeing a few handguns before he could grab them Henderson was on him his gun in the middle of Jack's back pushing in, as Henderson leaned forward, "Nice try Bill." _

_Henderson grabbed two pairs of cuffs giving Jack one. He had Jack walk over and cuff Bill's hands behind his back._

_When the metal cuffs were clasped behind Bills back Henderson smiled, "Move away from them Jack."_

_Jack walked away from where Audrey and Bill stood, not sure what was going to happen now. All he wanted to do was rips Henderson head off, but he couldn't not with Bill and Audrey in here, he wouldn't be the cause of their deaths, he already had way too much blood on his hands. _

_Henderson waited for Jack to be a good distance from Audrey and Bill aiming he fired._

_Jack screamed out in shock when the bullet tore through his leg, taking them out from under him he crumbled to the ground. His hands instalty going to the site of the burning pain in his leg. Warm blood seeping onto them, covering them as he held his leg tightly looking up at Henderson his eyes wide open in pain and anger._

_"That's for my wife you piece of shit." Henderson said watching as Audrey rushed over to Jack._

_Jack spoke through clenched teeth, "It's fine don't worry." _

_"Help me get your belt off." Audrey said not paying attention to Henderson. _

_Henderson watched as Audrey pulled Jack's belt off and than tightly did it around Jack's leg in hopes of slowing the blood flow. Henderson knew he didn't hit any major arteries the blood wasn't light enough. _

_"move away from him." _

_"No." Audrey said staying in front of Jack not listening to Jack tell her to do as Henderson wanted. How dare both of them think they could order her around, she wasn't as defenseless as Jack though her. _

_Henderson walked over grabbing a fist full of her hair pulling her away. He pulled her to a metal shelving unit that held flak jackets. He took the second pair of cuffs and cuffed her left hand to the unit. Walking back over to Jack he kneeled down noticing Jack's glazed eyes, "you still with us."_

_"Yes." Jack growled. _

_"Good. Hurts doesn't it, did you know he shot my wife?" Henderson asked over his shoulder to Audrey. "Shot her in the leg to try and get me to talk. But I can't do that Jack."_

_"Why did you choose me?" Jack asked, "Why frame me, why kill my friends off? Why Palmer?"_

_"Good questions since that part of the operation is over I guess I can tell you. It was all personal Jack. When you blew the whistle on me and testified against me you took everything away from me but my wife. All of my friends gone. No matter how much I claimed I was innocent no one would listen, because why would a man turn in his mentor. I taught you everything you know about torture, and this is how you repaid me." Henderson was angry kneeling in front of Jack as he spoke spit flew from his mouth onto Jack's face. Jack knew better than moving to wipe it away, it would cause the coiled snake in front of him to attack. _

_"You did it the evidence proved it."_

_"I was framed just like we framed you Jack." Henderson let the words sink it._

_Jack looked up he had doubted his decision ever since Henderson went to prison, when he found out he couldn't believe it, and now it seemed more likely that he had been wrong. _

_"I wanted you to lose everything too Jack. I didn't expect Kim to turn her back on you." Henderson saw the surprise on Jack's face, "I talked to her before she got out of the building with Berry. She was quite angry with you Jack." _

_"If you hurt her…"_

_Henderson cut him off, "I would never hurt her, just like I never would have hurt Teri. I'm not a monster like you Jack. I know when I'm going too far. " The smile widened on Henderson's face as he saw his words sink in again. This round went to him, a few blows, but mostly he won the way he always did, by his words. He taught Jack everything Jack knew, but he always knew a lot more than he had been willing to share._

**Someone save me if you will  
And take away all these pills  
And please just save me if you can  
From my blasphemy in my wasteland**

"There is an upstairs to this place." Steve said softly to Audrey touching her shoulder as she stood staring over the man on the floor.

"Ok let's go look there." They were on their way up stairs when the front door to the place opened to the sound of groans from the light that entered coming from the people in the front room.

"Stay here." Steve said walking down the steps towards the front room. The other secret service man joined them.

"Hey fella's what you doing here?" The man asked from the doorway. "This is my territory."

"We don't want any trouble we're just looking for someone." Steve answered noticing the man, and the men that now were behind him for what they were, dealers.

"Interesting. Why the guns than?" The Mexican man asked glaring at the guns Steve and the other man had drawn at their sides.

"Protection. Maybe you can help us get out of here faster. Do you know if you've seen this man?" Steve asked slowly brining a picture of Jack up.

"Maybe. How much is he worth to ya?" The Mexican man asked, his men behind him had their guns drawn ready to fire at any moment.

Steve spoke, "I'm going to holster my gun I don't want your men getting trigger happy. We don't' want any trouble." Steve slowly moved holstering his weapon. "How much do you want for the information?"

"A hundred." The man said.

"Ok. Can we go outside for this?" Steve asked looking around he didn't want to pull any money out in this place.

"Sure."

"Ok I need to go back to the steps I have a friend there. She's unarmed." Steve said waiting for the verdict.

"Fine but one of mine goes with you and your buddy will holster his weapon."

"Deal." Steve spoke to the other secret service man, "Holster you weapon and go outside with them ok?"

One of the Mexican gang followed Steve through the house to where he left Audrey.

Audrey almost squealed when she saw the man with his gun drawn behind Steve, but Steve calmed her by speaking, "We might have a lead on him. Come on lets get out of here."

Rushing down the steps she followed him outside the light blinding her eyes when she emerged from the doorway.

"Money?" The Mexican dealer asked smiling at Audrey who had her hand over her eyes trying to block the sun.

"Audrey." Steve said, "Show him some money."

Pulling out some money from her pocket she held it out for the man to see.

"Give us some information on his whereabouts and you'll see it plus a hundred more if we find him alive." Steve said wanting to know if this was true.

"he's on the second floor of this place. I don't know if he's alive." The Mexican dealer answered.

"Take us to him." Steve said, "And alive or dead you get the second hundred."

"Fair enough. Follow me."

_How could he live with himself. Jack thought sitting on the floor clutching his aching leg. All of what Henderson was accusing him of was true. He had killed those people done those things. Henderson probably had been innocent but he wasn't now. _

_"Leave him alone." Audrey screamed from the other side of the room watching Henderson stand over Jack, making Jack looks so small and prey like._

_"I'm not hurting him." Henderson said moving away. He looked around for the room he needed to get out of here, but he could hear the people on the other side they knew he was in here, but they also knew he had hostages. _

_What could he use to get out of the room? Checking the shelves he grabbed more ammo for the gun, and found the gas mask. Smiling to himself he grabbed one of them checking to make sure it would fit. Tear gas and flash bangs both were lined up on one of the shelves he smiled, this was too easy. Grabbing three of the tear gas he spread them around the room. Putting his mask on he grabbed another one and threw it at Jack, "put that on."_

_"Fuck you." Jack snapped everyone was dead because of him, was all he could think. He couldn't let Henderson leave either, nor would he let Henderson do what he was planning, the gas would be enough to incapacitate both Bill and Audrey. _

_"Do it now or she dies." Henderson said turning to Audrey._

_Jack grabbed the mask with his bloody hands putting it on he glared at Henderson._

_"Good boy Jack. Now let's get you up." Henderson helped Jack to his feet leaving him leaning against the shelving unit._

_Jack waited for Henderson to turn his back and get a few steps away before he attacked. Hobbling he was able to land a solid punch to Henderson back, sending the man forward._

_Henderson growled angry that Jack had decided to try something._

_Jack continued on with Henderson his weight taking them both to the ground with a loud thump. Smashing his fist over and over into Henderson's body Jack was letting loose all the anger he had stockpiled over the years._

_Henderson was not taking the beating, he blocked some of the punches, and waited for the right moment to strike. Jack was wild, and he knew that was to his advantage. Any time an opponent went wild they also stopped thinking, and just reacted. Henderson found his opportunity Jack went to send another punch down, but was slow on the pick up. Henderson sent his hand smashing into Jack's throat enough to shut the airway off for a few seconds._

_Jack's hands went to his throat tears in his eyes from the pain. _

_Henderson punched the gasping man in the stomach moving to get on his feet knocking jack off him. A few kicks to the ribs and Jack lay still no longer fighting. "Jack now that I have your attention these are the options I see for you. You can stay here with your girlfriend and wait for Logan and the government to be finished with you, they'll come and try to kill you again, or possibly put you in prison for faking your death depends on their moods. You can wait for the Chinese to find out you are alive and than you know no matter where you go they will use Kim to get you to come back, or you can help me get out of here, and once I am finished with my part of the day I'll let you go. I have no reason to kill you." Henderson knew what the verdict would be. No matter how virtuous Jack might be he liked living a lot more, and he loved revenge, and he couldn't get revenge if he was dead._

"Audrey I want you to stay out here for now." Steve said as the men got ready to take them inside. Walking through the house was dangerous for both parties due to the known cash flow between them, and the drugs the dealer carried on him.

"I want to make sure it isn't him." She said, hoping it wasn't him.

"Once I'm sure it's safe I'll come back for you." Steve wasn't sure if it was him, but the way the dealer talked he was sure whoever it was most likely was not in any condition that Audrey needed to see.

Audrey didn't want to wait, she wanted to be there for him, but she knew Steve would not give in to her. "Fine." She said crossing her arms.

"Thank you." Steve said walking towards the front door, the dealer and his men following him.

_"We have to find him." Audrey said after she had been cleared by medical. She would have a soar throat and a bad cough for awhile but she would be fine. The tear gas had filled the room quickly, but security had been quick to get them out while some of them went after Jack and Henderson._

_"We are trying." Bill said knowing the chances were slim. They had no lead on where Henderson was taking Jack, and at the moment it was the least of their worries, they still had the nerve gas to get back. Some of the personal had been injured as Henderson made his escape, mostly guards who attempted to get too close. No one had died thankfully, CTU had already had enough deaths for the day. _

_Chloe was working feverishly at her computer. When Audrey came up to her she didn't not launch into explanation of how she was trying to track Jack. Audrey didn't need one, she knew Chloe would do her best to help find where Jack was. _

_Bill had other things to worry about the Homeland Security Office was already there, having attempted to call him while he was being held hostage. They were taking over, he knew they were going to try to take CTU over completely. The woman who was coming had her eyes set on closing down CTU since the inception of Homeland Security. _

_"What are your analysis working on?" She asked before even saying hello._

_"The one analysis I have left right now is working on tracking down Henderson."_

_"How did he escape?" The woman snapped._

_"He took people hostage and used Jack Bauer as a hostage to get out of here. He injured security personal on his way out." Bill answered knowing this was only aiding her in closing down CTU._

_"I want your analysis off it now. He is a dead lead." The woman said not giving Bill time to object, "You have his laptop and a lead off there if I'm not mistaken. I want your analysis to update my people and than I will speak with him to see if he is still fit to work. You are dismissed after you carry out this order." She said getting ready to walk on._

_Bill grabbed her arm, "It's a her. And I sure in the hell am not leaving now. My assignment from the president isn't finished yet. I was ordered to find those canisters of syntax gas, and I'll be damned if you kick me out before I do what I said I would do."_

_"You have been doing a poor job at carrying out that order I think everyone would agree. Getting a lot of your people killed in the process."_

_"I'm not leaving till the job is over. If you have problems with that why don't you call the president and discuss it with him." Bill knew she wouldn't something this trivial would not be brought to the president._

_"Fine but you report to me before anything happens. I make all the decisions President Logan did give me the order to take over CTU for the time being." She said angry that Bill had prevented her complete take over. _

They didn't find him, still hadn't in Audrey's mind. She kept thinking about how they let him down, as she waited for Steve to come back and tell her the dealer had been wrong. Minutes seemed like hours, she shifted anxiously her eyes darting to the door and than to the second floor of the building in hopes of something.

Steve emerged from the building with the dealer. The dealer had a smile on his face. Audrey didn't know if that was good or bad for her.

"Audrey I'm not sure." Steve said softly when he was by her. "I need you to make identification for sure." He paused he could see the fear in her eyes, "Whoever it is, is alive, barely, but they are alive."

"Ok." Audrey said softly trying to prepare herself for what she would see. Steve led her through the house the dealer giving them men to follow them through. None of the junkies inside bothered them, most of them were already getting ready to buy their next fix with whatever money they had, some of them ready to beg, others would pay in a different form.

Audrey walked up the steps that had once been well built, now they cracked and shook under their feet. The railing was gone, scratch marks on the wall, where it looked like someone had tried to claw their way through the wall. She kept her eyes up away from the nasty ground that was covered in feces and urine. Jack wouldn't be here, he couldn't be here. She made it to the top an all new smell invading her nostrils causing her to gag. Urine, feces, blood, rotting flesh, garbage and other unpleasant smells seemed to all mix together she found herself vomiting before she could make her way through the hallow to the end.

Steve stood by her, his hand gently rubbing her back.

She finished straightening up she nodded her head, she was ready to continue. As she passed the doorways that had no doors on them, some of the interiors of the rooms had fallen through, the third floor caving in. Some of the rooms contained people, it wasn't until midway down the hallway that she truly got scared. There was an old dirty mattress covered with blood that had dried. In that room a man had another man bent over leaning against the wall. He was fucking the young man that wasn't more than 17 years old. The man smiled at Audrey as they passed by. She found the source of the smell in the next room, a array of dead animals were piled on one side of the room, an older woman was petting a dead cat calling it precious and talking to it, stopping occasionally as if she were listening to the cat talk back to her.

It was the room at the end of the hallway that scared her the most, the smell of feces, urine, vomit and blood was the worse.

Steve stopped her before she walked in, "Are you sure you are ready for this?" He asked as if everything that had led up to this moment had been less shocking than what she could possibly find in this room.

Shaking her head she pushed past him.

The small body was curled up tightly into itself. Audrey used the flashlight to spotlight the body. What would have amounted to a scream of agony, but was nothing more than a soft cry due to the state of the body, erupted. Audrey's hand shot to her mouth as she looked down. Her legs were getting ready to give out, but Steve grabbed her before she fell to the ground.

"Is it him?" Steve whispered in her ear.

Steve couldn't tell from the body's condition. The long hair was matted in blood, it's true color not recognizable from blood and dirt. The body was smaller in build than the man in the picture, way smaller. And it's state was less than noticeable covered in blood, dirt, cuts, and feces. The pulse had been weak, the body shivering mumbling occasionally incoherently.

**How did I get here  
And what went wrong  
Couldn't handle forgiveness  
Now I'm far beyond gone **

_The small cell seemed to grow smaller with each hour. Jack began to wonder if it was part of Henderson's plan, if the cell really had been shrinking. He blew it off as his paranoia caused by the confinement. It felt like days had passed by, but he knew it wasn't more than hours, his leg had just stopped bleeding and the pain was still intense. _

_He heard the lock go back on the door and it took his will power to keep from cringing at the thought of more questions. They had questions when he first got there, and he had been stubborn until Henderson broke him down easily through his guilt and pain. The cement floor cold and uncomfortable. Henderson had restrained his arms behind his back with plastic cuffs when he put him in the cell. Shoulders burning, and arms going numb, he hoped to be given relief from the confinement. _

_The person at the door was not Henderson. It was an older man that Jack had never seen before. The man carried a leather bag with him, leaving Jack to assume the man was a doctor. He heard voices from the outside, but no one he noticed. _

_"I'm going to look at your leg." The man said moving forward with some confidence. He had been told the man was a terrorist he was working on, and that the government was keeping him in confinement without notification to the news media or law enforcement because he had been working with them. Helping them to find the men behind the attack on David Palmer, and the Mall. No one had heard about the attack on CTU nor did they know the attack that was currently being planned. The doctor knew better than to ask any more questions, when the Vice President calls you in for a favor you don't ask questions. He was surprised to find out as much as he had from his friend. _

_Two men walked into the cell causing Jack to tense expecting more of the beating he had taken when he first got in the cell. It was all minor damage that caused his body to ache, and the drug had easily warn off. They found out what they wanted just because he had nothing left to hold onto. He couldn't fight them what was the purpose he found out who was behind it all, and the betrayal sank in deeply. Henderson wasn't the rouge Agent he thought him to be, he had orders from the Vice President, and so did Walt Cummings. It all had been a political move, and he was just a pawn in the move. David, Michelle, and Tony all just pawns. All the deaths at CTU pawns in a deadly game of chess. The Vice President wanted to be the king and was going to checkmate President Logan the best way he knew how. The guilt had settled in too because if he had not faked his death, if he had died like he was suppose to Tony and Michelle would still be alive. So would David Palmer, who found out information and was using it to get Jack's name clear. All of this was his fault, all of the deaths were on him. So he told them what they wanted to know, what else was there to hold onto. _

_The two men pulled Jack up, a third dragged a chair into the overcrowded room. Jack was slammed into the chair eliciting a groan from him. All three men left closing the door leaving the doctor and Jack together._

_The doctor worked quietly cutting Jack's pants away from the wound with sharp medical scissors. Jack watched tensing each time the scissors came close to his skin. _

_"I'm going to try and numb the area the best I can." The doctor said his voice gentle. _

_Jack didn't answer he just stared down at his leg waiting for the inevitable pain again. The pain that reminded him he was still alive, and everyone he cared about was dead because of him. The pain that reminded him that people died around him. Physical pain had once been enough to block out the emotional pain, but now both were attacking his senses and he had no way of fighting it. _

_The doctor cleaned the wound hearing the man hiss in pain occasionally. When he finished cleaning it he wrapped the leg with gauze new blood soaking through from his treatment of the wound. He finished and asked the man, "Do you have any other wounds?"_

_Jack didn't answer at first. The doctor was getting ready to leave when Jack said, "I think I have a cracked rib. And I can't feel my arms, but I think my wrist are cut pretty bad."_

_The doctor frowned pulling the mans shirt up he touched the discolored skin, the man's chest and abdomen were covered in harsh looking bruises. He confirmed the cracked rib, and checked to make sure none of them were broken. "I'll have to get them in here to check out your wrist." He warned walking over to the door and knocking on it. _

_The came in the doctor explaining what he was going to do. They watched intently ready to pounce Jack if he tried anything. Henderson's voice was clear from the outside he was angry about something, Jack tried to listen in hopes of finding out his fate. _

_The doctor cleaned the wounds stitching the worse cuts and wrapping the mans wrist with gauze. He finished and moved back, speaking to the guards he warned, "I wouldn't restrain him again. I can give him a sedative if you think he is too dangerous to be unrestrained."_

_"Let me ask Henderson."_

_Henderson came into the room a few minutes later frowning at Jack. He hated to be called from his work for something like this, but he knew these men did not know Jack Bauer enough to anticipate what he could and would do if given the chance. Henderson was happy to see the look of defeat in Jack's eyes earlier when he found out who had been behind everything. It had taken awhile to break him down. Henderson started with bringing in all the emotional pain he could conjure up. Making Jack feel the guilt of the day's events. He knew the man better than he knew himself, and he knew Jack would internalize all the guilt, even if it hadn't been his fault. Henderson made sure Jack couldn't push that guilt away, box it up till he could find a place to safely relieve it. He had to use physical pain to help tire Jack out to make the guilt easier to take over, and the defense mechanism to deteriorate. The drug, the truth serum he had been given himself not too long ago, was the breaking point because with it Jack found the guilt truly did rest on his shoulders. When he asked about it, Jack had told him how guilty he had been, how it was all his fault. Henderson drove the last nail in bringing Kim's leaving him, what Kim had said. Jack caved, he knew the man didn't cave because he was broken, no he caved because he finally realized he had nothing left to live for. He was no longer righteous and good he was just as bad as those people he had fought over the years. _

_Henderson knew that what separated him from Jack. Jack actually had a conscious and a soul that could be easily tapped, Jack had never been quite good at dealing with the emotional pain. He was good at denying it and masking it, but when forced to look it dead in the eyes, Jack could never do it. He lacked healthy coping mechanism. Something Henderson knew from training the man to be who he was. _

_"Go ahead and give him something for the pain, but don't sedate him." Henderson said, "We are moving him soon anyways. We have you on a train to Mexico Jack and some spending cash." _

_Henderson had kept his end of the deal, sending Jack to Mexico, using the threat that if he spoke about any of it, Kim would suffer the consequences. Despite the fact she wanted nothing to do with him, Jack still wanted to protect her. So he had kept his mouth shut. Henderson had given him one last goodbye. Smashing his fist into Jack's abdomen and kicking him while he was on the ground. "That was for my wife and the years of my life you took away." _

_Jack struggled to all fours, blood dripping from his mouth, the pain was so instance now, his battered stomach emptying it's contents. When he finished he spoke in a low voice_

"What is the piece of shit mumbling?" The dealer asked kneeling by the body, he and his men had beaten repeatedly the night before. He paid no attention to the man ask if it was the man they were working for. He moved back quickly as the body started to vomit again, blood and bile mixing together on the floor.

"_I'm sorry."_


	2. Chapter 2

Her hands shook as she brought them to her face, tears in her eyes. "Get away from him, you fucking bastard." Audrey snapped moving towards the body.

Steve grabbed her arm stopping her. "Audrey go outside with one of these men." His voice was stern he knew now that it was for sure this man was important to them, the dealer would want more, and Steven didn't want Audrey to see what could happen.

"No I'm not leaving him." She said tears streaming down her face as she tried to pull her arm away. Breaking loose she kneeled by Jack's frail body her hand gently touching his neck to make sure there was a pulse, he was still mumbling something. "Shh it's fine Jack I'm going to take you home now." She said softly her hand gently brushing the bruised broken skin on his face.

Her body shook with his as she cried over him, seeing the mess of a man on the floor. It wasn't Jack, at least not the Jack she expected to fine. The drugs had eaten away slowly at his body, he was so skinny now, she thought her hand touching his back where she saw blood had come from. A cry of agony erupted from the small figure as Audrey's fingers played over the wound, "What did you do to him?"

The dealer smiled at her, she was lucky she had the man with her otherwise he'd have killed her already for disrespecting him. Respect was the one thing he had on the street, and the one thing he would keep by any means necessary. Not having respect could get a person killed as easily as not having a gun on you when you walked out of the house. He was intelligent, and that aided him in rising to where he was running one of the major heroin houses in Mexico. He was smart enough to know this was a culture shock for the woman, and that was the only other reason she was still alive.

"He's a traitor he had to be taught a lesson." The man said, his words cryptic giving no real meaning to Audrey.

"How about we take him off your hands." Steve said hoping for an easy outcome but he knew better.

"I'm not so sure about that. He owes me money still." The dealer said a smile on his face looking down at the woman now cradling the federal agents head.

"How much?"

"A couple thousand."

Steve knew it was bullshit but it was up to Audrey if she was willing to pay that much to get Jack back. "Can you give me a minute to speak with her?"

"One of my men stays here."

"Fine with me." Steve said moving over to where Audrey was cradling Jack's head speaking to him in a soft whisper.

"Shh it's ok Jack. You're going to be fine." Audrey said not caring about the blood, dirt and feces she was getting on her from Jack. He was in horrible condition his body broken.

"Audrey I need you to focus for a minute." Steve said gently. "We can't take Jack out of here. They want more money."

"He doesn't owe them anything." Audrey snapped, "He wouldn't." The track marks were clear on Jack's arm, and his body was clearly in withdrawal.

"I know." Steve said, "But it's the rules down her Audrey. We can pay and take Jack out of here tonight. Or we could come back to find him gone later." Steve knew if Jack disappeared it would be for good, in a shallow grave in the desert.

"How much?" Audrey asked.

"Two thousand."

"I don't have that much on me." Audrey said she clutched Jack tighter she wasn't going to leave him.

"Can you get your father to transfer the money down here?"

"Possibly." Audrey said, "But I'm not leaving him."

"That's fine you won't have to Audrey." Steve said trying to figure out a way he could work around Audrey's demand of not leaving Jack. "I'm going to call your father and report in."

"_Shh. We'll find him. If we have to search the entire Earth we'll find Jack." Heller said softly stroking his daughter's hair watching helplessly as she sobbed for her lover once more. It had been 36 hours sense Henderson took Jack hostage. There were no signs of either of the men. The threat was over now, all canisters were recovered, Homeland Security in cooperation with CTU recovered the canisters. Now all that was left was to clear the fall out from President Logan's martial law order. The American people could not know that the canisters ever existed, it would be bad publicity for the United States sense they signed an agreement that all chemical, and biological weapons would be destroyed. The fact that a state run facility was able to create the deadly gas and than hide it from the government would only cause major issues in the world politics. So Logan in the end had to take the brunt of the American peoples misunderstanding. All of them angry at the abuse of power. CNN and Fox news for once agreeing that the President had stepped outside his bounds. _

_Audrey knew the chances of finding Jack was little. After 24 hours there was little hope. Jack was either dead, dying, or disappearing again. She wondered what made her think he would stay after it was all finished. What did he have left? Tony was dead, Michelle dead, Palmer dead, and his daughter wanted nothing to do with him. She had made that very clear. Why would he stay for Audrey? Someone who had hurt him, and betray him. No she didn't deserve him, but he didn't deserve to get what he got. _

"Sir we found him." Steve said outside the sunlight shinning down almost blinding him from the brightness his eyes were not use to. His clothes stuck to his body from the filmy sweat that covered it. The smell of the room, of the house, still with him as if he were still standing over the injured man.

"Where is he?" Heller asked, not knowing where they had found them. Audrey had been searching Canada and Mexico for the past months for Jack. Each time they got a description that meant Jack or a lead. He had forked the money out to allow her to search despite he thought she would never find Jack. They still hadn't found Henderson.

"We are in Mexico sir. He's pretty bad off." Steve said wiping the sweat from his eyes as it slowly dripped down from his buzzed scalp. "Sir I'm not sure if he's even going to make it." Steve heard the sharp intake of breath on the other line. He had not known about Heller's connection with the man.

"Than get him to a hospital."

"That's the problem sir. He's in a crack house down here." Another sharp intake of breath on the other side of the phone. "The man that supplies the place won't let him go. And I'm not sure if he can wait much longer inside. We could try and take him out when they leave, but they'll probably just take him with them. They know he's valuable. I'm sorry sir than ran into us when we were initially searching for him. And using them was the quickest way to find him."

"You did good Steve." Heller said, "How much do they want?" Heller knew it was a matter of money if Steve was calling.

"Two thousand sir."

Heller had that type of money, but the question that passed through his mind for a brief second was would it be a waste. Jack was in bad condition, Steve wouldn't exaggerate, would the money be wasted and Jack die even if they took him out of there. Heller felt bad after the thought passed, this was the man that had sacrificed everything for them, and had put his life on the line to save them before. "I'll transfer the money into an account. Get me an account number."

"Yes sir." Steve said hanging the phone up.

He found the dealer inside watching his men work as they sold heroin to the different addicts.

"What's the deal?"

"Do you have a bank account?"

"Yes." The dealer said smiling a gold tooth shining through in the light of the front door being open.

"We can transfer the money in. But we need to get him out of here as soon as possible he's in bad condition."

"That he is." The dealer said smiling at the memory of beating the man listening to him cry out, and later beg as they tormented him with the drug he had been so addicted too. IF the man had kept his tattoo hidden they never would have known he was the fed that betray the Salazars. The only reason he was still alive was because the Salazars were rivals and his boss had picked up some territory when the two brothers died, but they couldn't let a fed go free.

"How much for a hit?"

"You using?" The dealer asked raising his eyebrows.

"No but he's in no condition to continue to go through withdrawal it'll kill him if the injuries you and your men caused doesn't. He is no good to you dead. My man won't pay if he dies before he can wire the cash down." Steve bluffed, Heller's voice had told him that he would pay even for the corpse.

"Fine." The dealer said, "cash?"

Steve handed the cash over to the dealer who handed him a baggie. Steve was not completely sure what to do with the drug, he hadn't used before nor had he known any people who had. "Can you help with this?"

The dealer frowned, "Give me the shit." The dealer walked up to the room Steve in tow.

Audrey's eyes grew big when the dealer stormed into the room clearly angry. When the dealer proceeded to walk towards Jack with the baggie she clutched Jack's head and order, "Get away from him."

"Lady I'm just trying to give him what he wants." The dealer said moving towards them. He didn't know where Jack's kit was he assumed somewhere on him. Most junkies clutched to their kits like business men clutched to their cell phones.

"Get away from him now." Audrey's voice more urgent.

"Lady if you want this piece of shit junkie to live than he needs some of this." The dealer said not kneeling yet he wasn't going to fight the lady he had a good pay day coming in, the boss's would never know about it. He'd pay off his men and they'd all get a large chunk without the boss's taking it all. If they asked the man died and they disposed of his body.


	3. Chapter 3

**I can hardly remember  
The look of my own eyes  
How can I love this a life so dishonest  
It made me compromise  
**

_The choice had been easy once he got off the train that led him to Mexico, he had nothing left but the pain. Henderson had helped him to understand he couldn't go back to his old life no matter how many times he saved the world or how many times he would try. That life was gone, Kim was all he had left in that life and she had made it clear about him in her life, it wasn't going to happen ever again. So why stay around in hopes of finding his life again, he really did die that day after the Marwan attack. Jack Bauer was dead, all that was left of him was a small piece of his mind and the body he inhabited. _

_Walking through the dark streets he knew where he was going and what he wanted. He pushed the thoughts away finding a hotel to stay in for awhile. He spent weeks in the hotel room leaving only occasionally for food, mostly he forgot to eat on a regular basis. He sat in the room staring at the wall, listening to the world pass him by outside. Henderson had been cruel, the ultimate pay back for what Jack had done to him, he let him live. Living in a world of nothingness, and he couldn't kill himself. He tried so many times, using the sheet once he made a noose, and when he put it around his neck and hung himself the noose gave out the sheet ripping from the fixture in the wall he had used. He fell to the ground gasping for breath._

_The next method was a gun, but he could never use it. He tried, putting the barrel in his mouth tasting the metallic taste he knew so well. His finger on the trigger lightly resting against it, he could never pull the trigger. Tears spilled down his face and he cussed himself. He was too weak to kill himself, Henderson had been right about that too. _

_All he wanted was the pain and the anger to go away, so he could truly be empty. There was only one thing that gave him that emptiness, the emptiness where memories never came back, Kim was non-existed, and the other had never died or existed, just the foggy thoughts that had no real meaning to them. It started off as something to help him get past the pain and anger. Something to help him relax so he could find a job once again to make the money he needed ever so badly. It quickly turned into something he had no control over, but than he had never had any control. He had lied to himself about being able to control everything. He couldn't and he never would be able to, and it was his fault because he was not good enough. _

_The drug became his best friend, but soon enough he couldn't afford to live in the crappy hotel, and he couldn't afford to eat. He couldn't even afford his friend, but he /found ways to make the money he needed. Ways that the drug helped push out of his mind._

Steve walked up to Audrey his hand gently touching her shoulder as he kneeled next to her, "Audrey he's trying to help us. He doesn't want Jack dead as much as you don't want him to be. But if Jack doesn't get this drug his body might shut down completely. He's not so good off Audrey, and his body can't fight the withdrawal."

"He's not a junkie" Audrey said tears streaming down her face onto Jack's body leaving a path where they cleared some of the dirt and blood from his face.

The dealer moved in quickly grabbing Jack's arm eliciting a moan of pain. He pulled the mans sleeve up before either of the two people could react.

Audrey gasped at the angry track marks covering Jack's arm.

"The other arm is just the same lady. He's a piece of shit junkie." The dealer said moving away knowing he'd get to finish this and hopefully the man would stay alive long enough for them to get him out of there and for him to get his money.

_Her hand gently rubbed up and down his bear chest as he slept. The build up to this moment seemed to have been years of wanting and needing but denying. The time spent building up was nothing compared to the pay off. It's the journey not the destination was wrong in this case, the destination had been great. She smiled her hand moving down to where the soft light blue blanket came to rest at his elbow of his left arm. The blanket at an angle because she had pulled it up to cover her, embarrassed of what he might see now that the denial had finally paid off. Moving her fingers she gently ran them up and down the soft flesh of his inner arm. She saw the scars there, letting her fingers rest on each one, staring at the evidence of his past. His entire body was evidence of his past, each scar she could trace back to an incident in his file that she had read multiple times through as if it had been a New York Bestseller. He was nothing like the man in the file, at least not the man she had created in her head. Some of the things that the file claimed he did, she was shocked to think of Jack ever having done. _

_He shifted in the bed, his head turning towards hers. His eyes open a smile on his face. "What are you doing?" He asked his voice soft. _

_She smiled at him and noticed the frown that formed on his face when he saw where her fingers were, what they were tracing out. _

_He knew he didn't have to explain, she had made it clear from the first day she meant him that she had read his file and knew his past. It had almost been refreshing to know that he wouldn't have the awkward moments, that he wouldn't have to attempt to explain anything. She had told him, that was the past, and this was now, his file was in the past, but he wasn't going to get away with the same no respect for authority in D.C. Authority was the law here. She had said it in a manner that didn't make it seem like she was judging him, actually it seemed as if she had agreed with the action he had taken over the years. _

_She had given him a second chance. A second chance to be the person he had once been before his was thrown into a hole that he had been trying to climb out for years now. Inside the hole it seemed for every inch towards the surface he fell two inches down so he was never going anywhere. Sometimes he would lose grip and fall all the way to the bottom, picking himself up again and climbing back up. He could pick himself back up again because he knew when he fell there would be a bottom there to catch him, and getting to the top was important because he had someone he had to protect and take care of Kim. She was his world, she was his bottom that kept him from tumbling all the way into hell. _

_He thought the second chance had just come in the form of a career, but there was more there. Months spent getting to know her through work, and through her kind hearted ways. She helped him when he first got to town, took him out to meet some people, and for the first time in his life he actually felt comfortable in a social situation when she was around. She showed him the best restaurants, always with people from work, something that CTU never did. After they saved the day you wouldn't find them sitting at the only place probably open, Denny's, eating breakfast. Everyone would go home to pick their lives back up, and continue on as if nothing ever happened. It was different here. She gave him a second chance at something else too, something he wasn't sure if he was ready for and it scared him what it might mean. _

_He knew he didn't have to explain, but he had once told someone to really deserve a second chance you must accept the faults that lead you to that point, "I would rather die than go back to that ever again Audrey. I had taken the easy way out. After Teri died I thought my world was done, but I couldn't leave yet. And it seemed like with each passing year I was losing more, and the pain was coming on more and more. I never dealt with Teri's death, and I hurt people in the process. That first high I knew what would happen, and I wanted it too. It brought me a peace of mind I had never felt. All the pain was gone, and I was just there. It was really nice. I told everyone I did it because it would help my cover, and that was part of it, but I also did it because I liked the feeling it gave me."_

_Audrey let him talk knowing that he needed to say it. "It doesn't matter anymore." She said kissing him, she pulled the covers back and climbed on top of him straddling him. "Nothing matters from the past Jack. It was the past, and unfortunately you had to go through it. But the way I look at the past, no matter how painful it is, it will always lead us to the present, and if we like who we are in the here and now, than the past doesn't matter. The pain led us to where we are, without it who knows who you would be, but you wouldn't be you." _

_The distraction was nice, he smiled at her, "What are you doing?"_

_"Going for seconds?"_

_"we can't." He said moving to get up, but she grabbed his hands, and he let her pin them to the bed next to his head. "we need to get to work. Which means I need to go home and change or someone will pick up on the fact that we both left the restaurant at the same time restaurant, and than I show up at work in the same clothes."_

_It was dangerous to be with her, he knew it. The relationship falls out, it could compromise their close work relationship, and a friendship he enjoyed greatly. Not to mention her husband, and her father who might not be so happy with him for what they were doing. Sleeping with your boss's daughter was never a good thing, he remembered his reaction to Chase, who was so much better than he is, not such a scared past. _

_"You have a point." She said kissing his nipple moving up to his neck and than nibbling on his ear, her finger gently running over the veins in his wrist something she had noticed he liked. _

_If he let her continue he knew there was no way he was going to get them both out of here in time. They would have to compromise. Pushing up gently he stood up his hands under her ass holding her to him._

_"Jack." She said surprised when he moved standing up. Giggling now she asked, "What are you doing?"_

_"We need to shower." He said carrying her into the bathroom. She smiled and started to kiss his neck again her arms around his neck holding on tightly, trusting that he would never drop her._

**Someone save me if you will  
And take away all these pills  
And please just save me if you can  
From my blasphemy in my wasteland  
**

Audrey watched as the dealer injected the drug into Jack's body. She was engrossed in the entire process watching every move the man made as he went through the process.

Steve's cell phone rang in the middle of ordeal and he stepped out, "Hello?"

"The account number?" Heller's voice asked clearly concerned.

"Let me give the phone to the man who will be receiving the money."

Heller frowned, he didn't want to talk to that piece of shit who didn't deserve a single sent. The man deserved to have his ball ripped off and fed to him for what he had done to Jack.

Steve kept his attention between Audrey and Jack, and the dealers conversation with Heller.

The dealer hung the phone up and handed it back to Steve.

"Once I call to make sure the money is in the account ya'll are free to go." He was smiling ear to ear.

"I need to get my other man in from outside so he can help me carry Jack out." Steve said waiting for permission.

"Go ahead the bitch and junkie are safe as long as the money is in my account." The dealer said now on his own cell phone to make sure the transaction went through.

Steve returned to the room with the other secret service man. Looking around for something to use to carry Jack out. He wasn't sure about the internal damage, or the spinal damage, he wanted to air on the cautious side. Finding a big piece of ply wood that had been ripped from the floor where it had covered a hole, Steve grabbed it moving over to Audrey. The other secret service man with him.

Steve spoke softly, "Audrey we are going to get Jack out of here now."

"Ok." She said not letting Jack go, she would never let him go again.

"I need you to let him go so we can get him out of here. You can hold him again when we get him into the car." Steve said softly, his heart wrenching in pain when he saw Audrey's eyes filled with tears at the request. He didn't know the man, and he wasn't sure if the man deserved as much thought as Audrey was giving him. The man was a junkie after all, he had put himself in this position shooting that shit into his veins, but it wasn't Steve's job to judge him. It was his job to find him, keep Audrey safe, and get Jack back to the United States hopefully alive.

"Ok." She said moving away, "Be careful with him, he's really cold."

"Ok we'll get a blanket for him." Steve said wondering if all of this had been for nothing if Jack had died in the process of trying to save him.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve checked the pulse to make sure Jack was fine, he was just clammy. Withdrawal most likely, or infection getting ready to start in. Steve couldn't see the condition of the body under all of the dirt, blood and clothing, but he knew it was far from minor injuries.

"Ok on three." They slowly moved Jack's body onto the plywood using it to carry Jack out to the car. They gently transferred him into the SUV, Audrey in the back seat ready to take over again.

They drove in silence, Jack moaned occasionally in pain, but mostly he was silent. Audrey cried softly running her hands through his hair when she could, "It's going to be fine Jack we are going to a hospital now."

Steve pulled out his phone and called Heller, "We have him. Sir he probably will favor better in an United States hospital. If we take him in down here they are going to want to know about information we can't give them." Steve didn't want to tell Heller about the drug addiction that was apparent.

Heller sighed thinking over the phone.

"He needs a doctor as soon as possible sir."

That was apparent by Steve's voice, what was it that made Steve not want to take Jack to a hospital in Mexico? "I'll call some friends and see if we can't find a doctor who will help stabilize him and fly back with you on a helicopter I'm sending down as we speak."

"Thank you sir." Steve hung the phone up and looked behind him to see Audrey rocking gently in the back seat. He wanted to tell her that Jack was going to be fine, that they had gotten to him in time, but he didn't want to lie to her either.

_"Why the hell am I being put on baby-sit duty for the Secretary of Defenses daughter?" Steve was furious why was he being taken of the presidential detail, it wasn't his time to be rotated out._

_"We need the best on this." His boss, Aaron Pierce said._

_"Why? What is she going to get kidnapped while shopping?" Steven snapped, this had been his chance to really show himself. He wanted Aaron spot one day, whenever his mentor was ready to step down._

_"Steve I'm doing this as a favor to a good friend." Aaron knew that Steve had investigation skills on top of his ability to protect people, and that's what Heller needed to find Jack Bauer. The man that he personally owed a lot to, and the one man he respected in the world of politics respected also. "And she is going to be in more trouble than you think. She is conducting a search for someone." Aaron didn't know how much he could tell Steve, if the man decided he would have none of this it was nothing he could do about it, he was giving him a choice._

_"Who is she searching for?"_

_"This stays in this room between us." Aaron warned waiting for a nod from Steve, he had the mans attention now, "Jack Bauer. I would do this myself, but I couldn't leave this duty without suspicion." _

_"But I thought he was excommunicated, a presidential order."_

_"He was, President Logan recanted the ordered. It's still quiet because of possible fall out with the Chinese."_

_"Why would the President recant the order now?" Steve asked he wasn't going into this blind._

_"Jack Bauer has a lot of information, and a lot of valuable talents, that if he were to decide that he was not going to do the honorable thing anymore, he could use them. And it would be devastating to the United States." That was the official word, but Aaron did not like it one bit because he knew a man like Jack Bauer was too honorable to decided to change sides, but he had his orders. _

_"So let me get this correct is this a search and destroy mission, or a search and recover?" Steve was confused as to what Aaron could be asking him, he didn't believe Aaron would ask him to search someone out and kill them, but weirder things had happened in D.C._

Steve made one more phone call, "It's me. We have him." Was all he said softly into the phone before hanging up.

Audrey was too engrossed with Jack to notice anything was happening outside of the backseat.

Steve's phone rang he checked the caller ID it was Heller.

"Yes sir."

"Take him to the nearest hospital. I will have a chopper there to bring him back to the United States as soon as they have him stable enough to travel. We'll be running interference from here, you won't have problems with the Mexican government."

"Yes sir." Steve said hanging up the phone turning off the highway following the on board navigation to the nearest hospital.

They had him in the emergency area for over an hour now. Audrey was pacing back and forth trying to calm her nerves, he would be fine. Each time she saw someone walk out of the area she would look at them hoping they would stop to talk to her and tell her how Jack was. Steve had to pry him from her hands when they got to the hospital she didn't want to let him go again.

Steve walked up to Audrey, he could tell she was breaking down, it was obvious in her face. "Hey come on why don't you rest for a bit. I'll go in there and ask how he is doing." Steve had access to the area because Heller had cleared it for him earlier.

Steve walked into the room to find the doctors working over Jack. "How is he doing?"

"We are doing the best we can sir. This man was beaten over an extended period. His body is covered in dirt head to toe, and he is way under weight. We are doing the best we can."

"I understand sorry to bother you. It's just his friend is worried about him." Steve said leaving the room. He found Audrey pacing outside again. "if you sit down I'll get you in there for awhile after they finish with what they are doing right now." Steve said. "They are working on him Audrey."

"I know." She said the fear of losing Jack was strong, stronger than she imagined it would be. "I just can't let him go again."

"I understand. Come on let's sit down for awhile. They'll find us if anything changes." Steve said leading her to the couch. They were in the nicest hospital in Mexico, it just had been a lucky break it was the nearest one when he turned off the road.

Audrey rested, her tired body shutting down. She hadn't slept in days, ever since they got to Mexico looking for him. When they got the tip of where he might be sleep was impossible. Now today had taken what energy she had left, seeing Jack in the condition he was in, and the chance she would lose him was all too much.

"_When can I get out of here?" He asked annoyed already despite only having been awake a few hours._

_"Never if you keep this up." Kim said smiling, it was nice to be with her father again. "You just woke up not to long ago. You haven't even been in her a full day yet."_

_He was restless already, he heard about what happened to David Palmer, he was going to be ok, but the fact that it could be related to the nuclear bomb was weighing on him. _

_"What about that woman from yesterday?" Kim asked knowing where her father was concentrating on and attempting to get him to focus somewhere else._

_"Kate?"_

_"yeah Kate. Do you like her?"_

_"I interrogated her sister, and probably ruined her life. She almost got killed because of me on multiple occasions." Jack said clearly angry with himself, clearly having felt something for her. _

_"Is this why she came and got me, than brought me to you? She could have said no dad."_

_"She was just being nice." _

_Kim smiled she loved when she was ahead of her father, "Oh is that why she was here up until you woke up. And than decided that you probably wouldn't want her here?" They were two peas in a pod, Kate and her father. They both were so not in tune with other peoples feelings when it involved themselves. _

_Jack didn't say anything, Kim knew he wanted to know more. _

_"She left her number too." Kim said handing him a sheet of paper adding, "In case CTU needed anything else."_

_"But CTU would already have her number." Jack said before thinking._

_"I bet they would. You know I'm hungry I think I'm going to go grab me something to eat. You enjoy your pink jell-o and do what you want with that number." Kim kissed him before leaving._

Jack opened his eyes the bright light causing him to close them instantly. He couldn't tell what was hurting because everything hurt. There were hands on him, how did he… where was he….. he wasn't in the hospital at L.A. He knew that for sure moving around the hands held him down. Through the tunnel someone was speaking to him.

"Mr. Bauer please clam down. You are in a hospital we are trying to treat your wounds."

"Doctor his blood pressure is going up." A nurse warned as Jack fought harder against the people holding him down. He had to get free he had to go. They were going to save him, and he wanted to die, he couldn't kill himself but he had found people to do it for him.

"Sedate him." The doctor said making a decision as he watched the patient fight harder.

Steve gently ran his hand on Audrey's back as she leaned against him resting. It had taken her awhile to all asleep, but at least she was asleep.

A doctor walked out of the room where they had Jack.

Steve moved out from Audrey and quietly approached the doctor, "How is he?"

"He was awake and distraught. We sedated him, but we have the more serous wounds patched for now and got him on an antibiotic and pain medicine IV drop that should help some. Whenever the helicopter is here he is ready to be moved."

"Good thank you doctor." Steve said not sure if he was relieved yet.

Walking over he looked down at Audrey, he knew what Jack coming back meant.

_It had started out as babysitting, but over the months he learned to respect the person he was protecting. There were rules against these sort of things, never fall in love with the person you were protecting. He never figured he'd have that problem protecting the president of the United States, which he just assumed always would have been a guy, unless things changed radically. _

_Things were even worse because he knew she was in pain, and just seeking solace in someone. But he couldn't stop himself._

_"Audrey I don't think he's here." They were in a ghetto in Mexico, one of the worst. _

_"Let's make one more round to be sure. Show a few more people his picture."_

_"Ok." He said because he couldn't never tell her no. _

_She walked off from him asking people if they had seen this man, in Spanish, holding a picture out for them to see. He was doing the same when he heard the shots pop off, turning around he found Audrey in the line of the drive by that was going down. Running across the street he drew his gun firing on the car as it sped towards him. He felt the first bullet slam into his chest, and the next one in his back as he made it to Audrey pulling her down covering her with his body. _

_As quickly as the disturbance came, so did the silence of shock afterwards. It was only a moment before a woman started screaming clutching her husband in her arms. The old man was dead, his eyes glossed over as the life left him._

_Steve rolled off Audrey grunting. _

_"Are you ok?" Audrey asked searching for blood._

_"Yeah." Steve said, "Help me get my shirt off."_

_Audrey helped him pull his shirt over his head finding the bullet proof best under it. She pulled at the straps helping him out of the vest. Her hand reaching to the bruised spot and gently touching it. _

_"It's fine." Steve said looking up at her. He couldn't stop his hand from pushing the hair away from her face. _

_Audrey didn't react to it, and she hadn't gotten off him yet. _

_Steve broke the moment, "We better get out of here before they come back. Can you drive?"_

_"Yeah." Audrey said getting off him taking the keys from him._

_They made it back to the hotel room, Steve still didn't have his shirt on. Audrey insisted on making sure he was ok before returning to her hotel room. _

_The ice had started it all, and once he started kissing her he couldn't stop._

"Audrey." Steve said softly waking her.

Audrey sat up looking around, "Why did you let me sleep?" She asked clearly angry.

"I'm sorry you needed the sleep. Can we talk?" He asked eyeing his partner who was watching them, had been since Audrey fell asleep on him.

"I don't want to leave in case he wakes up."

"The doctor just came out and said Jack woke up, but he was distraught so they sedated him for the trip. He won't be awake until we get him back to the States. If I promise to get them to let you sit with him until the helicopter is here will you go out with me and get something to eat real quick, you can bring it back and sit with him than."

"Ok." Audrey said softly.

Steve stayed quiet through the elevator ride to the main floor where the cafeteria was. When they started to walk down the hallway he got the courage to ask her, "This means we are over right?"

Oh god, she hadn't even thought about Steve, he had been nothing. Once or twice, but it never meant anything to her. "Yeah. I'm sorry I'm such a horrible person." Audrey said feeling like shit for what she was doing to him.

"It's ok Audrey. I knew I'd always be second to him. I just hope he knows how lucky he is." What a lucky bastard, a junkie and she still wanted him. But that was life, good guys always finished last, Steve thought smiling to make Audrey believe he was ok with it. "I mean it was just sex right?"

"Yeah." She knew it meant more to him otherwise he wouldn't have asked. "I am sorry."

"It's fine."


	5. Chapter 5

Audrey sat with him holding his hand that wasn't bandaged trying not to get tangled in the IV that feed him the nutrients his body needed so badly. Jack never indicated he knew where he was, the doctors had told her it was the drugs the same IV that was feeding him nutrients was feeding him pain medication and antibiotics. She touched his head occasionally her hands gently running over his bruised and cut cheek. Tears streamed down her face as she watched him lay there his body and mind both broken. How could she help him? Would he want help? It didn't matter she needed him, she wasn't going to lose him again, she'd be selfish and make him get better. She wasn't going to give up on him this time.

Steve watched from the hallway. It hurt to see Audrey in so much pain over Jack, it hurt to know that she found Jack more appealing. A junkie got the girl in the end. Shaking his head at himself, he knew Bauer was much more than a junkie. He had respected the man coming up in the ranks of the secret service. He wasn't losing to a junkie, he was losing to a man that was hurting. He couldn't fault Audrey for wanting to help him, for needing to be there for him. He could fault himself for being bitter, and for wanting to be with Audrey despite the fact he knew she had never got over Jack.

He turned leaving them to have some privacy. Walking down the ICU unit he stood in the waiting room closing his eyes as he tried to close the chapter of Audrey in his life.

Audrey never noticed Steve, nor did she notice when the doctor walked in.

"Hello Ms. Raines. If you don't mind I'm going to get Jack ready to be transferred now the helicopter is on it's way to take him back to the United States."

"Can he hear us?"

"Probably. He's just in a deep sleep now. The more out of it he is the better. He's going to be in pain when he wakes up." The doctor said frowning at the small frame of the body in the bed, "hopefully he will have people around to help him. He's not going to be as good as new quickly. He's malnourished, and getting off the drug is going to be very difficult looks like he was up to multiple doses a day."

The doctor stopped seeing the pain he was causing to the woman holding Jack's hands, "How about you help me?" Make her feel helpful, families always love it when they think they can help. "We need to cover him up and there are a few more blankets in the closet. If you could put those over him I can unhook his IV and get a portable one hooked up. It'll get him out of here faster and home to his family a lot sooner."

Audrey frowned at the word family, Kim had refused to even help find Jack, why would she come visit him now? The drugs would cause problems, she had made him promise once he got off heroin the first time he'd never go back, that would bother her most likely he had broken that promises, despite the fact she turned her back on him. Never mind the fact that it would bother Jack even more, maybe it was better that Kim stayed out of his life. She always worried about herself, and Audrey understood she had once been like that. But she grew up the moment she lost Jack for the first time.

Audrey sat with him holding his hand that wasn't bandaged trying not to get tangled in the IV that feed him the nutrients his body needed so badly. Jack never indicated he knew where he was, the doctors had told her it was the drugs the same IV that was feeding him nutrients was feeding him pain medication and antibiotics. She touched his head occasionally her hands gently running over his bruised and cut cheek. Tears streamed down her face as she watched him lay there his body and mind both broken. How could she help him? Would he want help? It didn't matter she needed him, she wasn't going to lose him again, she'd be selfish and make him get better. She wasn't going to give up on him this time.

Steve watched from the hallway. It hurt to see Audrey in so much pain over Jack, it hurt to know that she found Jack more appealing. A junkie got the girl in the end. Shaking his head at himself, he knew Bauer was much more than a junkie. He had respected the man coming up in the ranks of the secret service. He wasn't losing to a junkie, he was losing to a man that was hurting. He couldn't fault Audrey for wanting to help him, for needing to be there for him. He could fault himself for being bitter, and for wanting to be with Audrey despite the fact he knew she had never got over Jack.

He turned leaving them to have some privacy. Walking down the ICU unit he stood in the waiting room closing his eyes as he tried to close the chapter of Audrey in his life.

Audrey never noticed Steve, nor did she notice when the doctor walked in.

"Hello Ms. Raines. If you don't mind I'm going to get Jack ready to be transferred now the helicopter is on it's way to take him back to the United States."

"Can he hear us?"

"Probably. He's just in a deep sleep now. The more out of it he is the better. He's going to be in pain when he wakes up." The doctor said frowning at the small frame of the body in the bed, "hopefully he will have people around to help him. He's not going to be as good as new quickly. He's malnourished, and getting off the drug is going to be very difficult looks like he was up to multiple doses a day."

The doctor stopped seeing the pain he was causing to the woman holding Jack's hands, "How about you help me?" Make her feel helpful, families always love it when they think they can help. "We need to cover him up and there are a few more blankets in the closet. If you could put those over him I can unhook his IV and get a portable one hooked up. It'll get him out of here faster and home to his family a lot sooner."

Audrey frowned at the word family, Kim had refused to even help find Jack, why would she come visit him now? The drugs would cause problems, she had made him promise once he got off heroin the first time he'd never go back, that would bother her most likely he had broken that promises, despite the fact she turned her back on him. Never mind the fact that it would bother Jack even more, maybe it was better that Kim stayed out of his life. She always worried about herself, and Audrey understood she had once been like that. But she grew up the moment she lost Jack for the first time.

The helicopter flight back was quiet Jack stayed asleep the entire time. Audrey was avoiding Steve's eyes. If she had given him the time and actually looked him in the eye she would have seen he was ok. That he was dealing with it, but he didn't hate her but she never did.

When the helicopter landed, Steve helped her out and than helped the paramedics waiting to get Jack out. Jack was on a stretcher, and was wheeled inside where the doctors began to examine him.

Steve walked away calling Heller, "He is in the United States now sir. In Texas."

"Good. How is Audrey?"

"She is holding it together sir."

"Thank you for doing this Steve. I am very grateful. If there is anything you ever need just let me know."

Steve placed his hand on the back of his neck making a decision, "There is something sir."

"What can I do for you son?" Heller asked wondering what the man wanted.

"Is there any way you can arrange for me to transfer out of D.C."

"There is but why don't we talk about it when you get back to town." Heller said wondering why the agent wanted to leave the Presidential duty, he was rumored to be the man that would replace Aaron, as the head of the duty, when Aaron retired.

Steve took a deep breath, "Yes sir."

"Please keep me updated on Jack's condition." Heller said, "I want him moved to D.C. as soon as possible."

"Yes sir." Steve said wondering if that had been a good decision. Logan was out of office now, but would that be enough to keep the man safe? Steve would die before he let that man get hurt, Audrey cared too much for him. And he wasn't going to let anything hurt Audrey if he could help it.

_"How was she?"_

_"Who?" Jack asked amused by the look on Audrey's face. She seemed to be deep in thought despite the fact that she was laying on his chest her hair smelling of lavender spread out over his chest and neck. Her fingers making lazy circles around his belly button. _

_"Teri?" She noticed his body stiffen and his breath go shallow. "I'm sorry if you don't want to talk about it." She backtracked quickly._

_"No it's fine." Jack said softly sitting up and moving out from under Audrey. It felt weird to talk about his wife while he was lying with his lover. "She was a great person. She had a talent, much like yours. She could make conversation with anyone. I remember one time we were out together Kim was at her aunts for the weekend. I took Teri to the beach, and we were watching the sun set over the ocean. When we were getting ready to leave I left her for a few minutes to get the car that was parked a few blocks away. I noticed an older gentlemen sitting on a bench when I left. I remember how sad he had looked. When I returned with the car I found her talking to him. He was sad looking at first, by the time I approached them she had him laughing. He had lost his wife a year to that day he explained to her as I waited patiently for her. She could do that, make a complete stranger laugh." Jack closed his eyes letting the pain wash over him, he had learned that he couldn't keep it all inside, it festered like a infected wound and it eventually would burst. _

_"She seems like a great person Jack." Audrey said not touching him yet. _

_"She was. She just was unlucky to fall in love with someone like me." Jack said softly the implications of what he was saying hanging in the air. _

_"No she wasn't Jack." Audrey said moving to him, now on her knees, "You are a great man Jack Bauer, and I'm sure she saw that. You couldn't miss it." Audrey kissed him, "And anyone that is lucky enough to know and love you will agree with me. It wasn't your fault what happened. No matter how much you try to blame yourself."_

"Audrey?" Steve found her staring out the window.

"I keep having these memories. Moments I spent with Jack, conversations we had. It's strange and overwhelming." She said softly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Steve almost laughed at the look he got from her.

"God you make me feel even worse. After what I did, how I used you, and you are still here being a friend."

"Hey news flash Audrey you weren't the only one who got pleasure from us." Steve said a smile on her face, "And even if I lose you as a lover doesn't mean we can't be friends."

Audrey frowned, she really did feel bad about what she had done with him. How would she tell Jack? Could she? Would he be angry with her? That was if he survived.

"Come on. The doctor said that Jack wasn't going to be awake for at least a day. And they would call us if any changes in Jack's condition occur. If you are going to take care of him you need to take care of yourself first. Your father got us hotel rooms in a nearby hotel, it's in a quick walking distance." He was gently walking\ her towards the door to leave. "We can come back after you got some food, and some rest otherwise you might be joining Jack in the hospital and that's not going to help either of you."

"I just don't want to leave him again."

"I understand Audrey but he's not going anywhere. The Texas office sent some men down to protect him and they will call me if anything happens. The hospital will call if anything happens. We can be back here within five minutes if anything does happen."

**Jump in the water  
Jump in with me  
Jump on the altar  
Lay down with me  
**

_Walking through the warm sand her bare feet enjoying the freedom from her shoes. She felt at ease walking through the deserted beach. The sun was lowering in the sky, another day done, just another day. She came across Jack who sat where the water meant the land, the water washing over him as he lay there looking up at the sky._

"_What are you doing?" She asked Jack. _

_"Just sit down and watch." Jack said not turning his gaze from the ocean._

_Audrey complied wondering what Jack was doing, "What are we looking for."_

_"Just be quiet and watch." Jack said softly. _

_Audrey watched the sun slowly recede from the sky. She imagine like she had as a child Apollo the god of the Sun riding his chariot pulling the sun away from the earth. Her mother had told her all the stories of the great Greek mythologies. They were her bedtime stories. Her mother encouraged a healthy creatively despite her fathers reservations. It was a beautiful site but she still didn't understand what drew him to the ocean. "Now will you please explain?"_

"_All life came originated in the ocean right?" He didn't expect an answer. "the ocean is this life giving and life taking mechanism. I'm waiting for it to make it's decision."_

"_It's decision?" She asked confused._

_"Whether to cleanse me or to take me." Jack said softly the water washing over him, and it slowly started to move him. His body washing towards the waves._

_"Jack don't. You have to stop." Audrey said trying to get up but she couldn't move. It felt like the small amount of water was holding her down. Her head lifted she watched a wave take Jack, crashing down on him, she watched him fight to get to the surface and another wave crash down on him keeping him under even longer. Screaming for help, no one came. She felt the wave carrying her out now. _

_The wave that had carried her out, carried Jack back to shore. He was clean, he sat there watching her fight with the waves. "Jack!" She screamed as the waves carried her farther and farther out._

_He never came to save her, he just stood there watching as she was being pulled under over and over. Why wasn't he trying to save her? _

_Finally she felt the waves stop crashing on top of her, and she too was riding a wave back to the shore. When she reached the shore she glared at him, "Why didn't you help me?"_

_"Because I know I couldn't save you." _

_"Why not?" She asked confused._

"_I don't make those choices." Jack said softly turning around to leave._

Audrey awoke in the hotel bed looking around the darken room, she had been dreaming. She was covered in a thin layer of sweat. What the fuck had that been? She flipped a light on looking around for her cell phone. It was late, how had she slept for so long?

Getting out of bed she rushed to shower, she needed to get to the hospital to be with Jack.

When she got out of the shower she grabbed her cell phone stopping before she rushed out the door. She should tell Kim what happened. Even if she didn't want to know about her father, she should know anyways.

Audrey dialed her number and waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello?" A tired voice answered.

"Is Kim there?"

"this is her."

"Kim this is Audrey Raines."

"I already told you Audrey I'm not interested."

"Kim I'm not calling about help. I found him."

"Well good for you. Goodbye."

"Kim don't hang the phone up." Audrey said quickly, "He's not doing good."

"What do you mean?"

"He is injured badly." Audrey said leaving details out on purpose.

"How bad?"

"I'm not sure we found him earlier today and he hasn't been conscious yet." Audrey answered.

"Well I don't care." Kim said angry.

Barry heard Kim and took the phone from her, "Ms. Raines Kim asked you to leave her alone." Barry said angry that Kim was so upset. Why didn't these people just leave her alone? She had made her decision she was old enough to do that. Why didn't they see that. Everyone tried to blame him for influencing her, but he hadn't. He had advised her not to blow her father off, he was her father after all.

"Barry I understand. But I thought Kim should know that her father is not doing so well."

"What is wrong with him?" Barry asked clearly worried.

"A lot. I'm not going to go into detail. I just thought Kim should know he's back in the United States, his name was cleared. And we aren't sure if he'll survive or not."

"Where are you?"

"We should be in D.C. tomorrow." Audrey answered, was this the best idea? If Jack woke would having Kim around upset him more?

"Can you please call me back with more details about his condition later?" Barry asked softly. Kim had left the room angry that he hadn't hung the phone up, but he knew if her father wasn't going to survive she would hate herself for not seeing him.

"I'll give you my number and you can call me whenever she's ready to know." Audrey said rattling off her number. "leave a voice mail message I'll probably be at the hospital most of the night." Audrey hung the phone up wondering if she had done the right thing.


	6. Chapter 6

Audrey walked into Jack's room, the soft sound of the heart monitor beeping welcomed her. She looked at the small form on the bed, he just looked so vulnerable and hurt. His face was bruised with deep angry looking gashes above his eyebrow and on his cheek. His lip split and puffy along with his eyes which were black and blue. She could see part of his uncovered chest and it was black and blue too, gently rising and falling in his sleep. She wondered if it was peaceful? He didn't look peaceful, a layer of sweat covered his face and his visible chest. Occasionally his head would move as if he were dreaming.

Audrey sat down taking his bandage hand holding it again. "Hey Jack it's me again." She said feeling stupid for talking to someone who was asleep. "We'll get though this. I'm going to be there for you Jack. For once someone is going to be strong for you. You don't have to carry the load alone anymore Jack. I won't let you."

Jack seemed to calm some, his breathing slowed, and his body seemed to relax into a more peaceful state. As if her words had reassured her.

"I love you Jack Bauer." Audrey whispered into his ear kissing him, "rest well I'm here to protect you now." She wasn't sure why she felt like she had to protect him or what from. Himself that was one person, she knew he would hate himself when he woke up and his mind cleared from the drug. That would be difficult to diffuse to keep him from hating himself and blaming himself for his habit.

Was it his fault? She couldn't help but wonder. No it wasn't, he was alone, left alone to deal with the pain and guilt of the grave loses from the day she found out he was still alive. Having to leave again, and god only knows what Henderson's did to him while he had him.

He wasn't a junkie either. No matter what they called him he had good reasons for what he did. He had bee exiled from the country he had given everything too, his daughter wanted nothing to do with him, and in one day he had lost all of the people who had been his friend. That was good enough reason that what made him different from all the other junkies in the world.

She was taken from her thoughts when he shifted in the bed pulling his hand away from her a soft cry escaping his lips. She pressed the emergency button not sure what was wrong. Audrey watched as Jack seemed to fight off some unknown assailant.

The nurse came in and frowned walking over she increased the drip of morphine they were giving him and checked his temperature. Noting it on the chart she walked out to call the doctor. The gentlemen had a high fever that they would need to break before his body gave in. He had a lot going against him. Why a junkie was getting this good of treatment she did not understand.

_He held the body in his arms rocking back and forth gently, tears running down his face. "I'm so sorry." He said softly not letting go of the body. It was over, he had lost, lost it all. God how was he going to face Kim after this. _

_Tony walked into the room looking at Jack holding his dead wife. "Jack." Tony said softly. Tony could see from Teri's color that she was already gone. They had been searching the building for Jack for about a half of an hour now. "Come on Jack. Let her go." Tony said gently moving to take Teri out of his arms._

_"Get away." Jack's voice was a growl, like a dog warning someone off of it's territory he was ready to lash out._

_"Jack we need to get you looked at." Tony said softly his hand on Jack's shoulder now, but not attempting to take Teri out of his hands._

_Jack struggled to stand up, "Teri's asleep." _

_Tony didn't know what to say he knew Jack knew she was dead. _

_"I think there might be something wrong with the baby." Jack said softly._

_What baby? Tony wondered if the man who everyone thought had no bounds finally snapped._

_"Teri's pregnant." That's when he broke down he knew the baby was dead and Teri was dead. His legs buckled from under him and he crashed to the floor, Teri still in his grasp._

_Tony moved quickly grabbing Teri away and laying her gently on the floor. He picked Jack up off the floor. It was funny a few hours ago he couldn't stand this man, and now he couldn't help but feel sorry for him. "Come on Jack." Tony said practically carrying Jack out of the room. _

_Tony got Jack into medical. Luckily George knew better than to ask any questions when they came walking by._

Audrey started to talk the soft beeping of the monitors was lulling her to sleep, and she needed to stay awake. "I remember the first time I saw you." She smiled at the memory. "you were so shy and I was just certain my father had the wrong man. There was no way you could be the file I read, I expected some cocky sexist pig."

She felt the tears rise to her eyes. "You had been so understanding and kind. I remember you opening the door for me, and my father actually having to tell you to stop thanking him. You're eyes were this shade of blue that made them look alive. I think I actually lusted after you the first time I say those eyes light like the did." She stopped wiping a tear from her eye, not sure why she was crying.

"When we started to get close I was so afraid of what you were thinking about me. I was certain you thought I was a leech and only using you to get back at my husband. I was so dependent upon you, but everyone seems to do that." The last part was an afterthought. "Kim will come around Jack, you just have to give her time. She's stubborn like her father." Changing the subject before she saw her part in Jack's demise. She knew she had a part, but now wasn't the time for her to deal with her own pain.

**The hardest question to answer  
Is why  
Why**

_His legs wouldn't carry him fast enough to the medical area. He ran but it felt as if it wasn't fast enough. He had to save him from himself, before he did something he would regret. Jack came to a screeching halt when he got inside. Tony lay on the floor the needle sticking out of his chest still._

_"Tony." Jack said rushing over grabbing Tony's body, "I need help". He screamed, he needed help. "Stay with me Tony." Jack said cradling Tony in his arms. It was happening all over again. Someone he had once trusted was taking someone he needed away from him. "Come on Tony."_

_"I couldn't do it." Tony said through gasp for air, his heart was pounding in his chest much to fast. So this is what Jack felt like, and Jack had continued on throughout that day. He was going to give up, here, he wasn't Jack. He admired Jack's strength, Jack's ability to do what had to be done. Jack wasn't weak like he was, and envied him for his ability to carry on after his wife died. Tony couldn't do that. _

_"Come on Tony." Jack said fighting with his friend to keep him alive. This was all he had left. Kim was right people died because of him. The names haunted him at night in the dark the only time they were able to come out. Tony was all he had left, Kim left him, Audrey would leave him, but Tony. Just when he thought he would find someone he could trust and who could understand. He couldn't have Tony's name haunting him, please god not another face. _

_"She's gone Jack." Tony said softly before slipping away. It was what he wanted to die, to be with Michelle. He wasn't as strong as Jack, he couldn't continue on. _

_Sitting there Jack felt the tear streaming down his face. He was so weak people continued to die because of him, and yet he lived on. Tony died because of his love for Michelle, and he well he didn't have the guts to die. He couldn't give up because he was too weak, too afraid to let go. Would God forgive him for what he had done? No if you kill you go to hell, there was no afterlife for him, no happy ending. There never could be._ Audrey lulled off to sleep only to be awaken by a doctor walking into the room.

"Ma'am." The doctor said noticing he had waken the sleeping woman.

"Are you his doctor?" Audrey asked sitting up and fixing the wrinkles in her clothes.

"Yes I am. Are you family?"

"Something like that." Audrey said not lying.

"Mr. Bauer should be ok." The doctor said pulling the covers down to check on the various bandaged area's. A nurse walked in to help the doctor. They pulled jack's gown off his shoulders exposing his battered body. When the doctor pulled back the bandage on Jack's shoulder Audrey almost gagged.

The flesh of his shoulder was missing, holes were a flesh eating virus had started to eat away.

"I know it looks bad." The doctor explained, "But we caught it early. It's treatable and Mr. Bauer will only have one more scar from it." He wasn't going to go into great deal about the mans condition. If there weren't any complications he would have the man transferred wherever the following morning. He was relatively stable, besides the low weight, the various breaks, bruises and cuts, and the detox from heroin Bauer was fine. As long as they kept infections out, and the proper medication to keep Bauer from going cold turkey he would be fine. Keeping him out was the best method for now because of the pain.

Audrey stepped out of the room allowing the doctor to work, she needed to check her cell phone and get some coffee. Sitting outside she sipped on the coffee turning her phone on. The phone indicated she had ten missed calls and eight voicemail messages. Leaning back closing her eyes allowing herself to relax for a moment before she started the call backs, she was shocked by Steve who cleared his throat above her.

"How is he?"

"Still asleep." She answered looking up at Steve. Why was he still here? She couldn't understand why he stayed protecting the man she loved, when he had cared for her? She had an eerie feeling of déjà vu.

"Your father has been calling you. He called to hotel and I told him you were at the hospital." Steve said an encouraging smile on his face.

"I'll call him back." Audrey said lowering her head to the phone. Hating to look at Steve she felt guilt for what she had done, how she had used him.

"How are you holding up?" He asked sitting down next to her. If he couldn't' have her as a lover, a friend was just as good, and she looked like she needed a friend.

Audrey couldn't hold it in anymore, she wasn't as good as Jack at hiding her emotions and denying them. "I'm the reason he's in there." She said tears running down her face. "I'm the reason he used again."

Steve listened he knew now wasn't the time to drawl her attention to a certain fact. She needed to let the emotions out and than he could correct her.

"I went after him. I stopped him from being able to fight Henderson. He would never have put me in danger. I said horrible things to him the day Paul died. And worse of all I didn't do anything to help him that day. I let Henderson take him. I let him go again. I dumped everything on him too before. Like everyone always does. We all thought Jack was strong, but everyone has a breaking point, and everyone needs someone to be there for them. He had no one, and yet we all still continued to dump things on him." There was more to it, but she wasn't ready to share not yet.

"Audrey did you put the needle in his arm? Did you buy him the drug? " Steve asked tired of listening to Audrey beat herself up over a junkie, a junkie he still respected.

"Not literally but I minds well have."

"How so? If he knew he couldn't handle it why didn't he come back?"

"How could he? With the government after him? With the Chinese after him?"

"You're father would have helped him, you would have helped him. Audrey he choose to not be found for so long, he choose to run away and hide. No one made him. Just like you didn't put the needle into his arm."


	7. Chapter 7

Let me know if ya'll like this I can try to get more up later.

* * *

Audrey returned to Jack's room thinking about what Steve had said. Curling up in the chair she pulled her legs close to herself watching Jack as he slept. What was she getting herself into? Could she really help him? A thousand more questions that she didn't have answers too. Did Jack want help? He had never asked for it, but he would never ask for help.

Maybe she was in over her head, but did it really matter. Jack was hurting, she loved him, therefore she wanted to help him. Would he forgive her? Could she forgive herself?

The time slipped by as she sat there watching him and his frail frame. She couldn't back out on him, not now. She would see this through, and hope for the best.

She was taken from her thought she heard a soft sob focusing on Jack she saw he was crying tears running down his face.

"_I'm sorry Teri." Jack said as he watched his wife standing over his bed. _

_"Shh Jack don't be sorry." She said moving over to him touching him, she was real, he could feel her warm hand on his. She sat him up and moved under him cradling him in her arms. Gently she ran her hand through his hair trying to calm him._

_"I screwed up so much."_

_"jack everyone makes mistakes."_

_"I'm a junkie" Venom in his voice, but Teri didn't flinch away._

_"Jack you were in pain. Lots of it. We all make mistakes."_

_"Kim hates me."_

_"No she doesn't. She's just scared of losing you again." Teri said gently kissing the top of Jack's head. _

_"You hate me."_

_"If I hated you Jack I wouldn't be here. The only person that hates you is you." _

_The hands running through his hair was helping him relax, he was in pain, his stomach burned and his ribs ached from the shaking of his sobbing body._

_"Jack you got to stop being so hard on yourself. It hurts me to see you in so much pain. I don't blame you for my death. No one does but you." _

_"I'm sorry."_

_"Jack stop saying your sorry. You need to get straightened up go see Kim and show her you'll be there. You have to be there for her and yourself. Stop beating yourself up." Teri was stern. "You are allowed to make mistakes the last time I checked you were human." _

_Jack didn't answer he just relaxed in her arms, enjoying her touch he had missed so much since she died. The smell of her was inviting, welcoming him back to the old days when he had been so much better off. If he had known that he would have lost it all he probably never would have wanted it in the first place. The pain of the loss was eating him away, and yet he never did anything to stop it, just numb it. _

_"Jack you need to do what is right for you. Now get some sleep. I'll stay here until you fall asleep. I can't come back again. You need to move on and stop blaming yourself."_

"I love you Jack." Audrey said holding Jack her hand running through his hair. She didn't know if he had heard anything she told him about blaming himself, but she hoped it got through. It must have he was calming down in his sleep. The doctor stood in the doorway watching, Audrey pushed the button to alert them of Jack's condition.

"It looks like he's ok now." The doctor said walking over to check Jack out. "Starting tomorrow I'm going to lower the dosage of pain medication. He should be through the worse part of the detox process tomorrow."

The next day came quickly Audrey had gone back to the hotel to rest that night and when she returned in the morning she found Jack laying in the hospital bed awake and staring at the ceiling. His arms were restrained and so where his legs. Audrey left the room before Jack noticed she was there and found a nurse, "Why is he restrained?"

"When he woke up he was very agitated. He ripped out the IV's. We had to restrain him to get them back in, and we sedated him."

"Why was he agitated?"

"Probably because he wanted his drug of choice. Usually when junkies wake up they are agitated because they are crashed."

"he's not a junkie." Audrey snapped walking out of the hospital she turned her cell phone on and called her father. "We need to move him." No hello no greeting as soon as her father answered the phone.

"Why?" Heller asked sitting behind his desk looking warn out. He had been working on trying to find a way for Jack to return to his old job. Jack didn't have many friends left in the political community.

Agitated Audrey snapped, "the hospital staff are incompetent. And they are treating him like he trash."

"Calm down and explain it to me." Heller said trying to calm his daughter down. He had been thinking about moving Jack closer to his daughter in L.A. so she would be able to visit him.

Audrey launched off in her explanation, "That's why I think we should bring him back to D.C." She finished leaning against the wall.

"Audrey don't you think it would be better for him to go to L.A. so he could be closer to his daughter?"

"She doesn't want anything to do with him dad." Audrey answered softly tears in her eyes.

"Ok I'll arrange the transport for him."

Audrey was on her way to the hospital were Jack was now in D.C. when her phone rung disturbing the silence of the car. Jack had been awake for a day and he still had not spoken to anyone. "Hello." Audrey answered the phone not knowing the number.

"Ms. Raines this is Barry. I'm Kim's fiancé."

"Yes." Audrey said her tone colder than she meant it to be.

"Kim would like to visit her father. Where is he now?" Barry asked.

"Why doesn't Kim call?"

Barry was quiet he had talked with Kim, she would go see her father, but she refused to talk with him. Barry thought it would change once she got there, but he knew she would have to see him or she would feel guilt later. "She's busy."

"Than how will she find the time to come see him." Audrey snapped.

"Ms. Raines I do not understand why you are angry."

"Could it be because he has done everything in his power for her, and the one time he needed her she turned her back on him."

"You do not know all of the story."

"Neither do you." Audrey snapped back, "He's in D.C. now. If you want to come out you can call me when you get here and I'll make arrangements at a local hotel for her."

"Thank you." Barry said, "How is he?"

"he's Jack." Is all Audrey said hanging up the phone angry.

She got to the hospital and went up to Jack's room sitting down, Jack was flat on his back, his eyes closed, but she could tell he was fake sleeping.

She didn't want to tell him about her conversation with Barry in case Kim didn't come out. Maybe she should warn him though? "Hey Jack." She said reaching over to grab his hand. He pulled his hand away from her. "How are you feeling today?"

They didn't have him restrained but he still had yet to talk to anyone. When no answer came she leaned back in her chair, "I can sit here and not talk." She said smiling allowing herself to get lost in her own memories.

_"Can you ever be quiet for just a few minutes?" He asked sitting behind his desk. They were working late finishing up a project they had been assigned to work together on. They were a great team in the office. Jack had vowed not to let it go past that, she was a married woman. Though he had never actually meant her husband, he just assumed he was away on business._

_"I can." Audrey said laughing, "let's have a contest who can be quiet the longest."_

_"Are we in grade school again?"_

_"Come on. If you win you get whatever you want, and if I win I get whatever I want."_

_"What do you want?"_

_"I'm not going to tell you."_

_"Deal." Jack said smiling. "Starting now."_

_It didn't last long Audrey ended up laughing and Jack broke the silence asking her what she was laughing about. _

_"you lose. Time to pay up." Audrey said._

_"What do I owe you?"_

_"Dinner tomorrow night. There is this party that my father is making me attend and I'm tired of going alone."_

_"What about your husband?" Jack asked a smile on his face still._

_Audrey's smile faded, "We are in the process of separating. I'm not sure if we will even get back together."_

_"I'm sorry." Jack said quickly, "I didn't know."_

_"No one in the office does but my father, and I'd like to keep it that way."_

_"I would never…."_

_"I know you wouldn't Jack it's not like everyone runs to you for gossip. Though they do gossip about you."_

_"Do they?" Jack said interested, office gossip was a regular even when he was at CTU, but he rarely cared what was said. Now it seemed almost entertaining. "What do they say?"_

_"Oh a couple of the girls and maybe even some of the guys like to check you out as you walk by." Audrey couldn't believe what she was saying, but many lunches had been spent listening to women gush over Jack's butt, and body. _

_Jack turned red with embarrassment._

_Audrey laughed she had never expected that reaction. She was always comfortable around him saying more than she should, opening up more than she should, she trusted this man she barely knew._

Audrey was brought out of her state when she heard someone clearing their throat in the doorway. Steve was there with her father. Audrey stood up smiling. "Hi Dad." She wasn't sure why she broke the habit of calling him Secretary Heller in front of others. Maybe because the only other people in the room at one point she had been intimate with.

"Hello Jack." Heller said stepping into the room.

Jack didn't acknowledge him, Audrey had warned him about it. It was odd of Jack not to acknowledge him, Jack was one never to be rude to anyone in power.

"I'll be down the hallway sir." Steve said uncomfortable around the situation. Heller had never known about his relationship with Audrey, nor did he expect the Secretary to approve.

"Thanks Steve." Heller took a seat. They all sat quietly no one talking. He waited an hour before he got up gently touching Jack's good shoulder, "Take it easy Jack. If you want to talk just call me day or night."


	8. Chapter 8

The only way he could disconnect from them was to take himself somewhere else. He could hear every word they said, every heavy breath, every shy, he heard it all, but he didn't want to talk to them. He should have died, they should have let him give up, now he was the junkie Erin had seen in him. A liability once it got hard he turned to the next best thing to take the pain away. By the time he was addicted again he was already using to shut his own mind off that was ashamed of himself. He never found the peace he found the first time around, this time even in the peaceful mode there was a voice screaming at him for being such a loser. He couldn't handle his pain. The dream, he remembered the dream, but it was just that a dream. Teri would be disgusted with him now, she wouldn't even touch him if she were here. He was a junkie.

Taking himself away, he couldn't escape the memories that plagued him. The things he had done the people he had killed. His life in rewind, reliving each year in his mind, every important moment playing like a movie on his eyelids.

"_You are a maggot." The drill instructor would scream at them, spit flying in his face, he didn't dare bother to wipe it away, nor did he flinch. This was hell, the drill instructor had welcomed them properly as soon as they got off the bus. He had not been one of those cocky recruits who thought he would ease his way through Ranger training. He had been recommended like most of the recruits standing in formation with him, but he knew better than to think this would be a breeze after boat camp. _

_The first week had been the hardest to deal with. The pushups were never ending, as soon as he thought he couldn't do another push up he was doing hundreds more. Never really understanding what pushups would do to help him in the field other than stamina, it didn't matter in the end. Some of the men broke down, crying at night, others washed out, most just sat there exhausted waiting for the next round of hell. _

_The final week, hell week, guaranteed to wash out anyone who wasn't made to be a ranger. At the top of the class, everyone was waiting to knock him down, they all wanted his position, even the drill sergeant seemed to target him more often. POW training, he was the last to go through it, and it wasn't something he looked forward to. Willingly allowing himself to go through mental torture, and a minor amount of physical, he knew they would push him harder because he had yet to break down like most of his recruits. _

_"You're a maggot." The drill sergeant screamed in his face again. "A worthless piece of shit taking up oxygen on this good earth, taking up space in this great country." _

_The first punch took him by surprise knocking him to the floor. He lay there knowing anything else would only be a sign for more punishment. The boot caught him in the stomach causing him to gag, squeezing his eyes shut he tried to move past the pain. This minor amount of pain on his exhausted body felt like so much more, and he knew if he didn't get past it, he would fail this section. It had been the one section he was the most afraid of. He could take trucking through the woods in full gear in the biggest heat wave of the year, he could take the billions of pushups, the name calling, and all the other shit they did to him, but being locked in this place for however long they deemed necessary he wasn't so sure of. _

_Minutes felt like hours, they pushed him sometimes to the point where he was ready to break down, but they always backed off and gave him time to himself. They never let him sleep for more than a few minutes. Finally the drill sergeant walked in cutting the binds that held his hands behind his back away, "You paused Maggot." He said helping Jack up to his feet._

_Limping out of the room he walked up the stairs to the outside world, breathing a deep breath of fresh air, his eyes squinting in the sunlight. How long had he been inside?_

_The ceremony that night ended hell week, and the recruits still standing were welcomed into the Rangers. Jack had been excited, proud of himself, he had been one of the few, the class that started out with over 100 recruits dwindled down to less than 10. He had been the top man, despite the extra treatment he had received. As he was headed back to his bunk to get the long sleep his body craved, he was stopped by a Colonel. Snapping to attention he was shocked to find a Colonel walking around the training camp, especially late._

_"Are you Lieutenant Bauer?"_

_"Yes sir." Jack answered his body shaking in the cold air. He was so exhausted, but he pushed himself more to remain alert, and standing. _

_"At ease than." The colonel said motioning for Jack to follow him inside Jack's bunk house. The others were out celebrating still._

_"Have a seat Lieutenant Bauer, unless you think you'll fall asleep." The colonel said smiling._

_"Thank you sir." Jack sat on the edge of his bed not looking up at the Colonel. What the hell did he want? _

_"We've been watching you for quite awhile. Saw you work your way through boot camp at the top of your class, and than right on to Ranger Training."_

_They had been watching him, who's they?_

_"I am in charge of a special unit you might have heard of them, Delta?"_

_Jack perked up on this one. Delta, he had heard about them, the special forces unit that didn't officially exist. "Yes sir." He answered._

_"here's my card Jack. Think about what you want to do with your future. If you want to continue on give me a call. Take a week to think about it. If I don't hear back from you at the end of the week, we'll just act like this never happened."_

_"Thank you sir." Jack said washing the information in his brain, "But I have a decision now sir."_

_"What is it?" The Colonel said a smile on his face._

_"I'll do it."_

_"Think about it. It's a commitment. Get back to me by Friday."_

_"yes Sir." He was going to do it. Why the hell not. It was an honor. Much father than his father had ever gotten, his father barely made staff sergeant and had been pissed when his son reached the rank of lieutenant after ROTC, and than was offered a chance at Ranger school. Jack knew he couldn't tell his father about delta, but he sure in the hell was proud of making it farther than his old man who saw him as a college graduate yuppie who didn't belong in the Army._

"I'm leaving now Jack." Audrey said softly. "I wish you would talk to me. I'm sorry for whatever I did Jack. Please forgive me."

Jack was brought back to reality he could hear Audrey crying. He felt horrible and had to speak he couldn't let her think he hated her, that he blamed her, "It's not you." He said his voice cracking, his throat dry. He still couldn't have solid food, fed through an IV.

Audrey almost jumped when he spoke, "Than what is it Jack?" She asked rushing over and grabbing his hand.

Jack closed his eyes, pushing the tears that threaten to form back. How did he reach this moment in time? How did he get this far down again, from what he had been. How did he let himself?

"Jack please talk to me." Audrey said her tears running down her face falling onto Jack's arm.

"I don't…" He stopped, he didn't deserver her, "You should have left me Audrey."

Audrey almost cried harder, "I couldn't Jack. I love you."

"You shouldn't." Jack said venom in his voice he didn't mean to have.

"Why not Jack? Why shouldn't I love you? You are a great man."

"No I'm not Audrey I'm weak and I'm a junkie. What could I possibly have to offer you." 

"Shh. Don't think about that. For once in your life you don't have to be strong for anyone Jack. You need to fix yourself, and I'm going to be there. I'm going to be strong for you and help you. Jack you aren't invincible, untouchable. You need to stop thinking you can be perfect because you can't Jack. No one is. Yes you are down right now, but that's what friends are for to help you get back up. And you deserve it Jack." Audrey said her hand moving up to his cheek, gently rubbing the deep bruises. "I love you and I'm not letting you give up on yourself."

Jack couldn't be angry, not now, he felt so broken, so lost, and he needed Audrey, she shouldn't want him. He shouldn't have her. But he needed her, and he was going to be selfish just this once. The sobs came before he could stop himself.

Audrey moved onto the bed grabbing him as she had before holding him. Letting him cry, burying his head into her, for once not trying to stop.

Jack didn't know what brought it on, but he couldn't stop himself now, he didn't want to stop himself. He wanted the pain gone, he wanted to get out of the little box he had been locked up in for so long. He wanted to feel the sun on his face again. The dream with Teri on his mind as he sobbed, maybe it had been more than a dream, maybe she was really telling him he deserved this, that she didn't blame him.

Kim stood in the doorway with Barry not speaking. Both of them looking in on Jack and Audrey who had not noticed them in the doorway. Kim hid the pain she felt seeing her father sobbing. Barry put his hand on her back and gently rubbed it.

Clearing her throat she got Audrey's attention.

Audrey looked up her soft eyes turning to anger. She knew Jack would stop as soon as he noticed Kim in the doorway.

Kim walked into the room and sat down. Getting Jack's attention.

Jack forced himself to stop wiping his eyes clear of the tears, but they still were bloodshot evidence of his crying.

"Hello Jack." Barry said standing behind Kim who refused to talk. "It's good to see that you are ok."

Audrey held Jack tighter wanting to scream at the two in the room.

Jack just looked at Kim saying nothing. What could he say, he could see the disappointment in her eyes. She hated him, he knew that.

"Hello Jack." Kim said anger in her voice. "Barry thought I should come to make sure you were ok. Looks like your alive still." Kim said getting ready to stand up but Barry kept his hands on her shoulders pushing her into the chair.

"Why don't we give them a few minutes Audrey?" Barry said hoping Kim would warm up some to her father.

"I'd rather not." She felt Jack's hand grasp hers tighter. She wasn't going to leave him alone.

"I'm sorry Kim" Jack said his voice cracking.

"I'm not ready to forgive you yet Jack." Kim said, "I don't know if I can. Every time I do all you do is disappear again, or almost get killed. As far as I'm concerned I buried my father already."

Kim got up leaving the room she reached the doorway, "You coming Barry?" She asked clearly angry.

"No I'd like to talk to your father for a minute." Barry said sitting down. He knew he'd piss Kim off, but he had to explain what was happening to Jack.

"Fine." Kim walked off, if she had been stomping Barry would have thought her a child.

"Audrey would you please give me a minute."

"no I won't." Audrey said not moving, she would be there for Jack, even if it meant fighting with his daughter and her fiancé.

"Ok. Jack please understand it is not you that Kim's angry at." Barry started to explain, "She doesn't hate you. She's upset. She is angry at Chase, and the fact that you left so suddenly both times. Unfortunately she did not mature emotionally, I believe it's due to her mothers death. She dealt with it by ignoring the feelings." Barry almost smiled, from what Kim had told him about her father, it was a family thing, "She never matured from that, emotionally at least, and she's afraid of losing you again. She seems to think that if she doesn't get close to you, it won't hurt when you eventually die." Barry sighed getting no reaction out of Jack, "It is my fault she showed up today. I asked her to come and see you in hopes that she would see you are here, for now that is, to stay. I'm afraid it didn't work out as well. I should probably work with her more, I'm not her psychiatrist, at least not anymore, but on a personal relationship level we work together on these issues."

"get out." Jack said his voice strained.

"Excuse me?"

"Get out and keep your filthy hands off my daughter."

"Sir?"

Audrey stepped in, "If I'm not mistaken it is unethical to have a relationship with a patient, even if she is a prior patient."

Barry sat there confused by the sudden anger, he was trying to help them. "Sir I will leave, but I will not abandon your daughter." He didn't mean it as a stab at Jack, but he saw the physical reaction Jack had.

"Get out now." Audrey said not moving she was still holding Jack, trying to help him remain strong.

"Yes ma'am. I'm sorry." Barry said getting up and leaving the room. Looking back to see Jack gasping for breath trying to keep himself from crying again.

"I'll get the nurse." Audrey said going to move.

"Please don't leave."

"Ok." Audrey reached over and pushed the buzzer.

The nurse came in and smiled, "Mr. Bauer." She noticed Jack's condition, "I'll go get something." She said rushing off. She was to keep Bauer calm and comfortable. She came back with a sedative, "This will help you relax sir."

Jack watched as the nurse put the needle into the IV tube and squeezed it's contents into it. He didn't fight her, he needed the drug to relax him. He had to get better, or at least try. He had to be there for Kim, and Audrey. Audrey had done so much for him, and he felt safe around her again.

The drug kicked in and Jack didn't fight the sleep, he knew it would be full of demons but he had to face them, and he had someone there to help him now.

"_Fucking shit hole." The youngest member of the team complained, "The fucking sand, why the fuck are we even here?"_

_"Because we were ordered." One of the other members of the team said._

_"Shut up both of you. We still have three miles to go and an hour to get into positions."_

_"Do we really have to camp out in this fucking desert. Can't they just drop the fucking bomb without us?"_

_"No they can't. Now shut up." Jack snapped from the front, now leading a platoon of men he had moved up quickly in the ranks of Delta impressing everyone with his skills. _

_He reached their target with time to spare, "Take your positions set up a perimeter r around the camp. David you got the first watch with the new kid."_

_"Fuck why do I always get stuck babysitting?"_

_"Just do it." Jack snapped. They didn't use sir in the field, if a officer was caught they were always used for information, no ranks, no identifying tags. As far as anyone would be concerned they didn't exist. _

_Jack was now married with a child on the way. Most of the men were single, some of them had girlfriends, only one other had a wife, David. David was a Master Sergeant from New Orleans, with a wife and three children. Jack trusted him with his life, and had multiple times now. They worked together their rank never interfering between them. _

"_Radio in. Let them know we are in position and ready for the command whenever they give it."_

"_Yes sir." _

_Jack waited listening to the one sided conversation. _

"_Sir there has been a delay. The target has not arrived yet, and intelligence says it won't arrive till tomorrow."_

"_What does command want us to do?"_

"_Camp tonight."_

"_Ok. You heard him guys we'll set up teams for watch." Jack ran his hand through his hair, he was suppose to be home by tomorrow. It was his daughters first birthday. He already had missed so much from being away. _

_After the tasty MRE's Jack dug in to sleep. Most of the men were resting as well, Jack would wake up in two hours to relieve David and the new guy. He was in a deep sleep dreaming about his family when he heard the loud pop, grabbing his gun he was instantly on his feet. It was the sound of an AK-47. Rushing towards where the sound came from he found David lying on the ground, the new kid a few feet from him. _

_A bullet whizzed by, another connecting with Jack's shoulder he dropped to the ground firing where he saw the muzzle flash come from, he never felt the bullet tear through his shoulder, adrenaline rushing through his body. _

_When he had killed the enemy in the distance he called out, "David you still with me man?"_

"_Fuck." David said applying pressure to his leg. "fucker shot me in the leg. We never saw him coming." They were at the end of Desert Storm and they couldn't call for medvac because they were not suppose to be there to begin with. They were on an unsanctioned mission, the UN didn't even know they were there. Most of the American troops were on their way back home. But Jack's team was sent in to take care of one of Saddam's high ranking officers, someone that had angered the wrong people. It was suppose to be a one day mission in and out, back home before sunrise the next day. Nothing ever worked out as planned._

_The rest of the team was now there. "Someone help David." Jack said noticing that the bullet had clipped an artery and David was bleeding out. Moving over to the new kid Jack hovered over him on his knees. The kid had gotten shot in the neck, he wasn't more than 19, a young one at the top of his class much like Jack. The kid had asked to be apart of Jack's team, he had looked up to the man he had heard about from his training days. "Stay with us kid." Jack said his hands around the kids neck trying to stop the bleeding._

_The kid spit blood out, his eyes were full of fear. Those eyes Jack would never forget as he watched the first man to ever die on his team drift away._

"_Come on damn it." Jack said grasping tightly blood covering his hands and clothes. He watched as the life slowly seeped out of the young kid below him. _

"_Fuck." Jack screamed when the life left the kids eyes completely. "God damn it." Jack said moving away, covered in blood. _

"_Sir." One of the men walked up to him, "You were hit."_

_Jack noticed the hole in his shoulder seeping blood. The pain suddenly rushing to his conscious mind. "Call command let them know we have injured and dead. Kurt help David. I'll get the kid." _

"_Sir you're hurt." One of the men said going to take the kid._

"_don't you fucking touch him. I got him, he's my responsibility." Jack snapped grabbing the kid feeling the wound in his shoulder rip more as he struggled to carry the kids dead weight. "help David. Get us a ride out of this place."_

_They had bad intelligence Jack learned when he was safely back on U.S. soil, in time for his daughters first birthday. The target never showed up, another team took him out somewhere else. The kid was from L.A. and Jack made a trip by his parents house before heading home. He would never forget the look on the kid's parents faces when they found out their son wasn't going to be coming home this time. Jack couldn't even tell them how he died. The red hand print on his face reminded him of the pain he had caused that family. How he had failed them. _

_Teri had wanted answers as to what had happened to him. But Jack didn't explain, he left his worries out on the worry tree, he wouldn't let his job interfere with his family life. He pushed the mission out of his mind, the pain in his shoulder nagged reminding him of what he had failed to do, but the pain killers pushed that away. David was fine, he was out of commission for awhile but he would be fine._


	9. Chapter 9

Audrey held Jack as he rested, his sleep was full of fits, he would moan occasionally in her arms. She hugged him tighter and wiped the sweat from his brow. Wishing him peace for once in his life, she knew it was a false wish. Peace never seemed to find Jack Bauer, at least not for a prolonged period of time. Someone always came along to disturb the peace he so rightly deserved. Even knowing this, she couldn't leave him, couldn't turn her back on him. The pain he suffered, she wanted to take some on for him, to help him. Anything he needed she would try and get for him.

The unknown taunted her as he slept through the night. The unknown of what he had been through while away, what Henderson did to him, what they would be later? Would they be later? Would he be able to kick the habit again? Would he ever forgive himself?

When he awoke the next morning he acted as if nothing had ever happened. The rest seemed to have been healing enough for him. He was ready to leave, begging to be released into Audrey's custody. Audrey had been happy just for him to want her around. But there was more to this, she knew he was getting better at hiding inside of himself. When he would hide inside of himself, he would only pull away from those who cared for him.

"Jack can we talk?" She asked moving off the bed away from him. He was almost smiling.

"About what?" He asked his eyes betraying no emotion.

He looked so calm she didn't want to ruin it, she backtracked, "What do you want to do when you get out of here?"

"I'll probably have to do some outpatient treatment for..." He answered his voice low as if he were ashamed of himself, he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"Where do you want to do it? L.A. or D.C.? Wherever you want to go. I would like to be there with you if you don't mind."

His eyes seemed to light up when she asked if she could be there, "I would love for you to be there." He answered feeling suddenly emotional, somehow he wanted to trust Audrey to put everything he had into her, and something held him back. Sometime stopped him from trusting her, from allowing himself to love her, and to allow her to be there for him.

"Wherever it doesn't matter." He finished now in deep thought pondering what was stopping him. He hadn't allowed himself to love anyone, or allowed himself to be loved by anyone, his entire life. He loved Teri, yes, but he was not completely devoted to her. If he had been devoted to her, he would have left the Army when she asked, and Nightfall never would have happened. If he had allowed her to love him he would have opened to her, and seen that he didn't have to shield her from himself. There was love, he wouldn't doubt that, but he had fought it without even knowing. And after she died there had been no love anymore. It had died with Teri, his ability to even attempt to love someone. He thought it had been reborn with Audrey, but now he found himself in the same old pattern.

Audrey watched him deep in thought wondering what he was thinking about. The light mood had left the room, and was replaced by a cold distance. The cold distance she knew that was coming. She could see the pain seething through him, a pain he could hide so well from others, but she had learned how to read him long ago. The exhaustion of waiting around for him to say something, to do something became too much.

"God damn it would you just give yourself a break for once Jack." She snapped, she saw shock in his eyes, her voice was raised. "What the hell did you do so bad that made it so you cannot have a life? Can't have a real chance at happiness again?"

Jack stared at her, his eyes cold, anger behind them, fear too. Audrey could see it all, all of the emotions.

"You didn't kill Teri. The world doesn't revolve around you either. You are human Jack, and you make mistakes just like the rest of us." She paused her heart racing in the moment of truth she couldn't sit there anymore quietly watching the man she loved wither away. "God damn it Jack. You have me. It may not be much, but I love you. And you sit here as if I am not good enough for you. And I know that's not the case. You think you aren't good enough for me. But you are." She could see something was getting through, "I love you. Always will, no matter what you do or don't do Jack. I take you a you are. If I didn't want to be with you I'd have walked away a long time ago. But I love you, and I want you to love me back." She was just rambling now unable to stop herself from letting it all out, "It hurts to sit by and watch you beat yourself at every chance you get. It hurts to see you in pain. It hurts that you won't let anyone in to help you. It hurts Jack. You never wanted to hurt me, but you are now by doing this." She didn't care that he was hurting her, that wasn't her point. Her point was he was hurting, but she knew by mentioning him hurting her, hopefully she would get through.

"I killed them." Jack said his voice low, afraid to raise it any higher she might see the cracks. And if she saw the cracks, if she saw him, she wouldn't want to be there anymore. She'd see he was weak, much weaker than anyone expected.

"Who Jack?"

"Teri, Mason, Chappelle, Paul, Michelle, Tony, Edgar, Palmer…." He stopped for a second to take a breath desperately trying to wipe the tears from his eyes before he continued, "Saunders…"

Audrey stopped him moving over to the bed putting her finger against his mouth quieting. "Jack you didn't kill them." Maybe he had killed Chappelle, but had he a choice? "You didn't kill them. No one blames you, but you." She said letting him cry, despite the pain it brought her to see him crying like that. "No one could have saved them Jack."

b**Someone save me if you will  
And take away all these pills  
And please just save me if you can  
From my blasphemy in my wasteland** /b 

i_"Jack can you pick Kim up from school today?"_

_There was no hello, had he expected one? She kicked him out of the house the night before. In the middle of the night, he had come home drunk again, the only way he seemed to be able to shut out the screams and the nightmares. When she tried to get him to talk the hours before he went out and got drunk, he had closed shut. It was a world he never wanted her to know about, the world were people don't come back, where his decisions killed people. _

_"Sure." He said his voice soft, part of him hoping this was an invite home. _

_"We will talk to her tonight when you get the rest of your stuff out of the house." Teri was still cold, distancing herself from him. The pain he had caused her, by not letting her in giving her the strength to cause the same in him._

_"Ok." The lump in his throat was growing bigger by each passing second. He couldn't cry not now. "Anything else?"_

_"No." And she hung the phone up. _

_He sat in his office looking down at CTU, he was healed physically, but emotionally he hadn't even begun to heal. He watched the people work bellow him, none of them knowing that his world was crashing down around him, no one caring. The knock on the door brought him out of his hell. _

_Nina pushed through the door her smile fading when she saw the tears in Jack's eyes. She acted as if she didn't notice and continued on, knowing it would make Jack uncomfortable, and she didn't need him to distance himself from her. "I got those reports you asked for."_

_"Thanks." He said his voice hoarser than usual. _

_"No problem. You want to go out for a drink with a group tonight?" _

_"I got to pick Kim up from school." He looked at his watch, only an hour till than. "I'll be leaving early can you handle it alone?"_

_"Sure no problem."_

_"Thanks Nina."_

_Nina smiled, "No problem." She walked towards the door and stopped, "Are you alright Jack?"_

_This question he hated the most, no one ever wanted the true answer, and he was never willing to give it. He had convinced people he was fine. The shrink they made him see, mostly the man was just trying to see if Jack had sold his team out, but he convinced the man that he was fine. He had convinced everyone but Teri. Why stop now? Why tell the truth to someone who didn't care?_

_"Yeah." He answered giving a fake smile to make it more believable._

_"Ok. But if you need to talk you know where to find me."_

_Nina could always read him, it had been something that bothered him. He was hard to read, but she was always able to read him, one of the only people who could. "Thanks for the offer." He said this time half of a real smile came to his face._ /i


	10. Chapter 10

Audrey stayed with him as he healed over, each day was an uphill struggle. It seemed like for every two steps they took they were jumping back one. But she persisted, and never judged him, how could she. He got use to her being around him, when he was down, allowing her to see the cracks. He opened to her eventually, and they would sit and talk sometimes without even using words.

"I love you jack." She said kissing him as she curled up in the chair.

"You should go home and get some rest." He said softly reaching over and grabbing her hand to kiss it.

"I will eventually."

"Audrey I'm fine. I haven't broken down in what a few days. Must be a record."

She could hear the embarrassment and disgust in his voice, he was always so hard on himself. "Jack you know it takes a lot of strength to show your pain, to open up to someone that's real courage. We all know you can storm into a situation and put your life on the line, but it's what you do afterwards is where the real strength lies. Anyone can give up their life, but it takes strength to pick the pieces back up after your life has fallen apart. And even more strength to glue those pieces back together. You'll still have bumps and cracks, but that's life."

Jack's face turned red with embarrassment. "I know." He said softly. He loved her, so much, he hadn't loved someone in a long time, himself included. She had a way of making him feel safe, making him want to find the strength to build his life back up. "I love you too." He scratched his eye, scratching the tears away. Kim was out of his life, there was not much he could do but wait around for her to come back, and even than he wasn't sure. Could he push his daughter away? Push was the wrong word, she pushed him away, could he turn his back on her?

"But really Audrey you should go home and rest. You haven't had a decent nights sleep in awhile. I'll be fine. I promise. I'll be right here when you wake up, and if I need you they trust me with a phone now so I can call you." He smiled at her to make his point, "You need rest too."

She was trying to find what game he was playing, but there was none. "Ok. But call me if you need me Jack. And none of that tough guy bullshit."

After Audrey left the boredom set in, and with it came the need to get out of the room he had been in for so long. Audrey had helped him through the trying times of being stuck in the hospital room.

It seemed like hours passed, nurses came in and checked on him, but it wasn't the same. So he was surprised when the two men in suits walked into his room.

"Jack Bauer?" One man asked, as if he did not already know who Jack was from his file.

"yeah who are you?" Jack said setting up in bed ignoring the pain in his body.

"FBI. I'm Agent Penn and this is my colleague Agent State."

"What can I do for you?"

"It seems you got quite a name down in Mexico. Under the Salazars and on your own recently." The agent knew better than to mention the conditions under which jack Bauer himself got a name for himself as ruthless. It must be true, drugs cloud ones judgment all the while making them want nothing more than the drug. Made sense that even Jack Bauer wasn't immune from the drugs ways.

Jack started to turn pale, he had wondered if that would catch up with him. He had not told Audrey about the runs he did. Mostly working as a strong arm for some guy named Vince. He cracked a few ribs, broke a few bones, and killed a drug dealer, but the people he hurt had all been dealers or bad people in a way. It seemed to make it acceptable. That was except for that one time. That one time that would haunt him, like all the other images that haunted him. He made sure that Vince wouldn't call on him again. Vince was not the type of man you said no too, he was connected, a made man. Jack had slipped under the drug more, letting it take control to partially block out what he had done, and also to make him useless to Vince.

"Now Jack my colleague Agent State thinks we should take you up on charges of rape."

b**My hands are broken and time is going on and on**

**It goes forever (how long)**

**So I got high and lived all that life**

**I have taken all for granted** /b

Steve stepped into Jack's room hoping to find Audrey there, instead he saw the two men in suits. "Is everything ok Jack?" Steve asked hesitantly.

"Um yeah." Jack said clearly shaken.

"Who are you?" Agent State asked.

"Agent Steve Barker, Secret Service."

Agent Penn knew that was their clue to leave. "this is my card Jack call me in the next 24 hours with an answer."

Jack took the card, his hand slightly shaking as he moved it back to the bed.

Steve watched the men walk out, "What was that all about?"

"nothing."

Steve knew it was more than nothing, he shifted uncomfortably on his feet before he sat down. "Audrey asked me to watch you while she was gone. She said you hated hospitals and probably would have an escape planned already."

That got a tiny smile out of Jack, a sad smile. "You love her don't you?" Jack asked cutting through all the bullshit and going straight to the point.

"I do." Steve said softly.

"I can understand that." Jack said softly, Steve was better for Audrey, he would keep her safe. She would always be in danger with him, and he was not the type of man she deserved. Not with the things he had done, "Take care of her."

"What about you Jack?" Steve asked surprised.

"We both know she'll be in danger as long as she is with me. I love her, but I can't do this to her again. Eventually someone will catch up to me, and get their revenge. I don't' want Audrey brought into that. I know you'll protect her and take care of her. You love her, I can see that, and she cares for you. She'll love you once she sees that the person she thought I was, was nothing more than a façade."

"I…I..Jack I cannot." Steve said shocked by Jack's truthfulness. He had thought the same but he didn't verbalize it. He wouldn't let him do this.

"Just take care of her." Jack said laying back down in bed and closing his eyes. He had a headache, and he couldn't stand to watch his life disappear before him again.

b **Promise me you'll try to leave it all behind**

**Cause I've elected hell**

**Lying to myself**

**Why have I gone blind?**

**Live another life**

**You**

/b

Steve left the room leaving Jack to himself. He made sure to call Audrey as soon as he left. Jack was acting weird, and Steve was sure the suited men had something to do with it. He would find out who they were, not for Jack, but for Audrey.

i "Jack I don't understand?"

"I'm sorry." He said softly, "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending everything is ok."

"I thought everything was fine. How long have you been pretending? Why won't you just open up to me?"

"Kate I'm sorry." Jack said shoving the last of his clothes into the duffel bag. He hated himself for leeching onto Kate, he needed someone, always did need someone in his life. Someone to help him forget at the end of the day all the bad stuff. Someone that he could come home to and know they were not fully aware of all the bad stuff that goes on in the world everyday. Someone innocent.

"I don't accept that Jack. Can't we at least have lunch and talk?"

"I can't. I'm leaving town."

"Today?"

"No. Soon. I have a lot I have to do before I leave."

"Where are you going?"

Jack gave her a look, he didn't mean to look at her as if she was stupid, "You know I can't tell you Kate. I'm sorry. I really am. This is better in the end."

"Better for you. Jack why are you so afraid to leave all that behind you. Why are you so afraid to live?"

/i

Audrey returned to the hospital, speeding her way there after the call from Steve. He had not told her about the men in suits, he did not want to worry her if it had been nothing.

She walked into Jack's room and noticed an obvious change in him. "What's wrong?" She asked softly walking over to take Jack's hand.

Jack sat up in the bed, his head was still pounding. "We need to talk." He said softly. The plan he had formulated was to push her away, but when she walked into the room he knew that would never be possible. She would not just allow him to act mean to her, and than she would leave him.

"About what?"

"I want you to move on Audrey."

Audrey sighed, "Jack we have been over this already."

"I'm serious Audrey. I do not want to be with you anymore. You deserve a chance at a real life. You won't have that with me Audrey. My life will never be normal. Danger will always be lurking around the next corner. And I cannot do that to you. I made my choice a long time ago, and I don't want you to have to make the same choice."

"Don't you think that is my decision."

"No its not." His voice was loud, almost scaring Audrey at it's sudden change. "I can't I won't Audrey. Not again, never again."

She wanted to tell him she wasn't Teri, and that she wouldn't die, but she knew that wouldn't help.

"Forget about me Audrey. Just move on. There is someone better out there for

you. I am not the one."

The tears she had been holding back started to fall from her eyes, she hated herself for it, "No Jack I won't let you do this."

"You don't have a choice Audrey. I'm done. I can't. Leave, move on." He was afraid to talk anymore afraid he would show her the pain he felt for causing her pain, and for having to say goodbye.

"No." Audrey said staring Jack down, his blue eyes boring into hers. "What are you doing?" She said rushing over to him as he pushed off the bed.

"If you won't leave than I will."

"Jack why are you doing this? What changed since this afternoon."

Jack started to pull the various wires from his body. The heart machine sounded its warning. It was only seconds later a nurse rushed in to check.

"What are you doing mister Bauer?"

"I'm leaving."

"Jack… Please don't do this." Audrey said almost sobbing.

"If you don't leave I'll walk out of here now Audrey."

"Ok I'll leave for now." She said hoping that if she gave him some time he would calm down enough to talk to her. "I'll be back later." She said sobbing as she walked out of the room.

Jack heard her sobs as she walked down the hallway.

The nurse watched stunned.

All the strength he had left him as he sat back down on the bed, putting his hand over his eyes trying to hide the tears.

Steve walked into the room.

Jack didn't lift his head, "Go after her Steve and take care of her for me."

The nurse stood in the room still.

Jack addressed her, "Could you stop that machine please, and than leave."

"Mr. Bauer I really need to keep that connected to you."

"Please just give me some time." Jack said, the distress in his voice clear. He was almost sobbing.

"Ok." She said turning the machine off and leaving the room.

Jack took a few minutes to mourn the end of his new life, and than he got himself under control. Grabbing the phone he dialed the number on the card. When the other line picked up he said, "I'll do it. Just get me out of here."

bThe only way out is letting you guard down

And never die forgotten (I Know)

Forgive me my love

I stand here all alone and I can see the bottom /b

Walking down the busy street, he ran his hand through his short crop hair. He had been disconnected from people for over a week now, and disconnected from anyone he cared to talk to for months. His time at the FBI was spent learning about the Kelly family. Being undercover was nothing new to him, but this was a different kind of undercover. These men weren't terrorist they were businessmen with thugs, and he would be going in as himself. They would know who he was day one, and he had to convince them he was no longer working for the CIA. It shouldn't be too hard with his past.

He had learned one piece of information that he found interesting. Vince DeFrako had learned who Jack really was, it was shortly after that, that the thugs that had bashed him learned who he was. Jack was sure the information had come from Vince. That would make things difficult because Vince would not be so kind to him upon meeting him this time, death was a likely outcome, if he was not ready to play the game.

Walking into the bar he knew Vince hung out in a lot, Jack took a bar stool and ordered a beer. Drinking it slowly he quickly took his surroundings in. An exit through the back, and a guarded door which meant someone important was behind it.

It did not take long for Vince to come walking into the bar as if he owned the place. Chances are he probably owned a piece of it, or knew the person who did. Vince took a seat a few bar stools down from Jack, not taking the time to notice the other patron.

It wasn't until the bar maid came up to Jack again to see if he wanted another beer that Vince noticed him. Jack made no attempt for him to be noticed, he wanted to seem as shocked as Vince would be when he saw his former thug sitting at a bar in New York.

"Jack ?" Vince asked, having remembered the man only because of how good he had been, and the let down when he become a full blown junkie, and later discovering he was a federal agent. Vince had been sure he was not faking as a junkie, he had been a true one. Vince saw him shoot up in front of him multiple times, and then there was the stuff he did for him. A federal agent would never do that. Either way he had thought he had it taken care of. Clearly if you want something done right.

"Um yeah." Jack said looking clearly uncomfortable. "nice to see you again Vince."

"When did you leave Mexico?"

"few months ago. I wasn't really welcome there anymore, and a friend found me. I went into rehab." Jack said rubbing his hands trying to act worried.

"So you're clean?"

"Few months." Jack said softly. "I should have you to thank for that probably." He decided to take the direct approach.

"What do you mean?" Vince asked trying to hide a smile.

"Someone found out about what I use to do, and told them guys. They made it well known despite my current condition that I wasn't welcomed there anymore. Luckily a friend found me before I died." Jack allowed the anger he had felt since he could remember, show through. All of it was not particularly directed at Vince, or even Jack himself, some of it was just because of how much the world had screwed him over time after time.

"It was just biz-ness Jack."

"I understand Vince. You can't have an ex federal agent working for you. Even if I did work for the CIA's Counter-Terrorism Unit. What I need to know now are what are your intentions? Do I need to leave New York?" Jack asked, being undercover again, this moment in time felt good. It felt like he actually had a purpose, to get undercover with the Kelly's. A point to waking up, and the game, the game was almost as great as heroin. That's all it was in the end, a game. Who could deceive who the most.

"You say Counter-Terrorism."

"Yeah Vince did you not check out further? Really what agency would like their undercover agent become a junkie?" Jack said knowing that his laughing at Vince could end up doing more harm than good. These guys had egos, and they were big egos they didn't like to be hurt.

"What brings you to New York Jack?" Vince ignored his comment he was trying to decided whether or not he needed to get someone to take care of Jack for him.

"Just trying to find some work, and keep myself clean." Jack said looking away as if he were embarrassed by his drug habit, not that it was a hard reaction.

"What type of work?"

"Something that pays." Jack said shifting on his seat.

"If I remember correctly you can fight pretty good?"

"Yeah. I learned in the force."

"which branch?"

"Army, Delta." Jack said knowing how much they respected the armed forces.

"We had this fight scheduled for tonight but one of the guys backed out. If you want a job show up back here in a few hours ready to box."

"thanks Vince." Jack said getting up his stomach growling in want of food. The FBI had been kind enough to send him off with a pat on the back and nothing more. He had no money, so he had been sleeping under the bridge and in abandoned buildings for the past week, while he was prepping his cover story of having just got into town. The money he had now, someone had been kind enough to give him earlier that morning. And as one of the people who walked by and stated out loud to the nice person who gave him the money, he did waste it on alcohol.

"You look skinny when's the last time you had something to eat?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "Rehab doesn't pay." Was all he stated.

"Lucy get the man a meal, can't have him fighting on an empty stomach." Vince said, sort of his way of apologizing, even though he didn't feel the need to.

"Thanks Vince." Jack said sitting down again.

i "Now Jack my colleague Agent State thinks we should take you up on charges of rape."

"I didn't rape her."

"no but you aided in it." Agent State said glaring at Jack.

"I couldn't stop him."

"She was an Agent you fucking asshole." Agent State said fuming, part of it was an act, he really didn't care. The Agent had been warned about what could happen to her in the field, and yet she choose to go into it. It was a mans job, not a woman's. But he would play his part.

"I...I… didn't know." Jack whispered, it didn't matter if she was an Agent or not he still felt just as guilty. He wanted to take the easy way out and blame the drug, but he knew it was still his fault no matter what drugs he was under the influence of.

"Doesn't matter Bauer and you know that." Agent State snapped.

Agent Penn stepped in, "We would be willing to look past that if you help us on this matter. We cannot get anyone else undercover. The family has become distant not allowing anyone new in." Agent Penn stopped letting the words settle in, "You already have a connection. Vince, a low level thug for the family, but you are known for your ability to work your way up the ladder."

"I can't. I'm not an agent anymore." Jack said, he could see his dreams for that new life slipping away. He knew if the government wanted him hey would get him, he was their lapdog.

"That is also why we need you. They'll find your connections but why would a man working in terrorism go undercover with the mafia? Makes no sense knowing that the mafia is United States loving, terrorist hating people. Your record helps."

"How long?" Jack asked, wondering how long they expected him to be undercover.

"It would be deep cover Jack." Which meant years?

"And if I say no?"

"We could tell your girlfriend about that incident, make it publicly known about you. The press would eat it up. Scandal associated with Secretary Heller. With his possible presidential bid, they would play it over and over. You would be an instant star and ruining Secretary Heller's chances at the same time." /i

"hey there buddy it's time to go." Vince said gently touching Jack's shoulder. Jack had been in a daze for over an hour.

"Sorry." Jack said wiping his eyes in a tempt to wipe the memories away. "Where to?"

"you'll find out when we get there." Vince was more confident of Jack's story now that he had stayed at the bar until fight time, which wouldn't give him time to alert anyone of what was going down. They were running his record now, that was if his families connections could get it.

Jack followed behind, his head hung low. At least he got some food, he thought, and possibility of some money. He might actually be able to afford a crappy hotel room tonight. A bed would be nice to sleep on again.


End file.
